PISSOFF
by VizeerLord
Summary: My take and spin on a few Ideas from other Writers. Offered a chance to Right wrongs, escape the Dursely's, and sling the 'V' at Dumbledor and the System, Harry Accepts the chance offered by a blond and the Goblet of Fire. Bash; Dumblerdor, Fudge, and Ron. No ships at this time... but will take options. fixed 1&2
1. Chapter 1

P.I.S.S.-O.F.F.

ISDH

CH 1

**Sept 1, 1994**

**Platform 9 ¾**

Tiredly, Harry drug his trunk into the compartment, he and his friends would be claiming. Hermione was right behind him. As he leveraged both trunks into the overhead racks, Hers heavier then his due to the fact she included all of her books, she curled up by the window, pulling a book from her robe pocket.

Harry just snorted, as he toed the wicker basket/travel cage under her bench and flopped on the other bench across from her, leaning up against the window. He did not sleep very well since getting back from the World Cup. His dreams kept replaying the Riots and the Murder of the man, the hissing commands to the 'Faithful Servant' and the spit insults to _**Wormtail.**_

Ron plowed in, slung his Trunk into the opposing rack, the one above Harry, before Plowing out into the swirling mass of students. He was on a Mission to Hunt Down the new Quidditch Captain, and get a toe in for this Year's Starting Keeper. He did not even close the door.

"Do you mind If join you?" a dreamy voice asked from the open door.

Harry cracked an eye, "Please, and close the door behind you." He levered himself to his fet to place her trunk in the overhead racks, before flopping down against the window, intending to nap…

The blonde sat on the other end of his bench, watching him with her silver protruding eyes. "Harry Potter. My name is Luna Lovegood. What would you say if I could get you away from your Relatives… permanently?"

His left eye crack open, "Three questions come to mind. How? Why? And at what cost?"

"How is tricky, but doable. We should have the basics written out by the time we get to School." the blonde licked her lips, "Why is more personal, as the Cost, and yes there will be a cost, just not money." She glanced at Hermione, before refocusing on Harry. "What do you know about what is coming to Hogwarts this year?"

"Huh?"

"Good. Table please." Harry quickly set up the folding table. "What do you know about true Divination?"

"You mean the class that Hogwarts teaches?" the wizard hissed.

"No. Sybel teaches the 'Art of Divination', something for rich housewives to play at while drinking tea. The Magic of Divination can not be taught, only guided. In the coming months there will a series of tests to show of the prowess of the Schools of Magic Europe. Dumstrum, Beauxbatons, and ,of course, Hogwarts." the blonde pulled a thick book from her book-bag. "These are the rules, bylaws, and statutes of the Tri-wizard games. Named tri-wizard because only three schools have ever put forth a champion." Here the blond swallowed, licked her lips, before pressing home her 'dagger' "There are loopholes if you know where to look. This year, certain addendums were added to ease the Tournament in place. One, only those of Age can be chosen. Two, each School's Headmaster will sit on the Judges panel, granted blanket amnesty for the duration of the tournament, and Three…" Here Luna lost steam, looking at her feet.

"Luna?" Harry prompted.

"The Rules very firmly state that, and I quote, 'One Champion per School' end quote." she looked up at Hary, "I have had visions of you being chosen. Due to the fragmentation nature of Seeing forward, I can only see the Choosing, and You are chosen as the FOURTH champion."

Harry blinked.

And blinked.

"If Harry is chosen as a Fourth, do you know who the other three are?" Hermione made herself known.

"No" the blond turned to face her, "they keep changing. I can make a guess, but only when the other schools arrive the day before the choosing… October 30th."

"Shite!" Harry dropped his head to the table. "I never can catch break."

The train whistled, and the stragglers scrambled aboard. The Engine leaned into to its harness, as the train shuddered, before it began to move. The door to the cabin was torn open, as Ron stormed in.

"Talked to each of the Chasers" he slammed the door shut behind him, as he flopped into the closest empty seat, "They have no idea about who is captain this year." then his eyes landed on the Blonde, "Who invited Loony?"

"I did." Harry was soft spoken. "Ron, I need to see the twins." Ron opened his mouth to complain, "I would go, but considering that it about a prank I will be pulling, I would rather keep the fact I am looking for them hush. Tell them Son of Prongs would like a word."

Ron frowned.

"Chocolate frogs." Harry closed his eyes, knowing Ron was hooked.

"What?" Ron asked.

"You were about to ask what was in it for you…" one green eye opened.

Ron bolted from the cabin.

Five minutes of silence later three redheads reappeared at the door. Harry flipped a gold coin from his pocket to the youngest. "Go share your good luck Dean and Seamus. We would not want to ruin your chances getting the Keeper position." Ron nodded and headed out. The door closing behind him.

"We were told that…"

"... the 'Son of Prongs'..."

"...wanted a word" the twins choursed.

"I do." Harry looked at the twins, grinning. "And with your help, I should be able to get Padfoot and Moony back to Hogwarts this year. Last year was no fun, one trapped as a teacher full time and the other locked outside."

Their eyes popped, "Lupin?" they choursed, "what do you need?"

All eyes turned to Luna. the blonde witch was doodling on a scrap of parchment.

**Potter Institute of Spells and Sorcery**

**Occultism, Familiars, and Foci**

"I am seeing white robes with the words PISS OFF around the image of a snowy owl sitting on a crystal ball." her voice had a sleepy tone, "Gold silk trim for the Headmaster… scarlet for the Professor."

"Okay." Hermione was scratching her own notes, "Professor Lupin showed a proficiency with mending and tailoring charms, so we just need to get the height and shoulders, when ordering the new robes… thinking three of each. We will want them by the 15th…" her voice drifted off as she thought out the logistics.

"Rules state, hosting school will house those that did not bring Housing with them." Luna spoke clearly, "So as a Fourth school, you would have your own rooms away from the Tower, but your friends can visit."

"Fourth School?" the twins asked as one.

"Spoilers." the blond grinned the sixth year boys. "On halloween night, you will need to have your paperwork ready. Including, withdrawing from Hogwarts for the rest of the year, transfer to your new school, of course, recognition of adult status." She pulled a folder from her book-bag.

"So, how does this get me away from the Dursleys?"

"As an adult, you will have full access to the Potter estate, no longer have to listen to the Headmaster when not in his school, and if everything goes as you are hoping, Stubby Boardman will be free of the Rottfang Conspiracy."

Harry pulled back, frowning, before his lower mind connected the dots. "Rotfang Conspiracy?" he snorted, "Hermione, do you remember the Rottfang Conspiracy?"

"You know of the Rottfang?" Luna hissed.

"What we know as the Rottfang Conspiracy, was an ad campaign by the Dental Health Association about eating too much candy." Hermione smiled at the blonde, "My Father was the Daddy Vampire, worrying about his little princess losing her fangs."

"So… It is not about Fudge, the Minister?"

"Not in the Muggle realm." Harry was straight faced, "But when talking about Politics in the open, and negatively about those in power, it is smart to use misleading terms and names. As you inferred, SB is entangled with issues that Fudge has ignored or made worse either for Power or Gold."

"SB?" Fred murmured to his twin.

"Black… but why would little Harry…"

"Black is my sworn Godfather." Harry leaned back on the window. "He was my Father's Brother in all but Blood." He glanced at Hermione as she sucked on her Quill. "He never betrayed us, the Grim is too strong in him."

"Grim?" Luna asked as the twins choursed their question.

"If not Him...who?"

"Wormtail." Hermione hissed.

"Who…" the question voiced, died on the tongues of the three who did not know.

"Marauder's Oath." Harry glared at the twins, before looking at Luna. "None of this is spread beyond those of us here." He received nods from everyone. "I do not know the whole story yet, but about their fourth year they came together, and to help Moony, they became like McGonagall, Prongs a stag, a Hart. Padfoot a Dog, a Grim, and Wormtail, a Rat." Harry leaned forward, "Padfoot and Prongs touched a bit deep, and found not just their animal, but their True Self. Wormtail was just able to get his other form, and so he is just a Rat."

Harry swallowed, "During the last War, When Dad and Mom were hiding from Riddle, They used an obscure charm that hid the Location of Us Potters in the soul of a Keeper. Everyone thinks that Black, my Father's Brother, his best friend, was the Keeper, but they chose Wormtail instead, a poor excuse for a Wizard, as their Keeper. Wormtail was the one who brought Riddle to our Door." His eyes flashed. "Black knew something was off, and chased him to ground. But between his rage, and knowing how weak Wormtail was, he overlooked something."

Hermione took up the story, "You know how the story says that Black blew up the street, killing all those muggles and that wizard?" at the nods from everyone, "Wormtail was the one to blow up the street, before cutting off his finger, and turning tail as a rat into the sewers."

"So who was Wormtail…" Fred.

"What was Black after while at Hogwarts?" George.

"Is the Rat still at on the Run." Luna, her silver eyes dull as she focused on the facts.

"Wormtail hid with a Wizarding family these last twelve years. Fred and George know Wormtail by another name." Harry grinned at the twins, "Scabbers." The shock on the faces of the Redheads was enough to cause Hermione to snort. "That is why Black was in our Dorm. Why Everyone thought that He was coming to kill me. That is why Ron kept losing his rat."

"He never said he was sorry to me or Crooks." The Muggleborn huffed.

"That is Why we Want Padfoot and Moony to return, why we dismissed Ron from this Adventure." Harry sighed. "Ron needs must think that I am keeping him at arm's length so as to not ruin his chances of being Keeper.


	2. Chapter 2

_P.I.S.S.O.F.F._

_CH2_

"_Wormtail hid with a Wizarding family these last twelve years. Fred and George know Wormtail by another name." Harry grinned at the twins, "Scabbers." The shock on the faces of the Redheads was enough to cause Hermione to snort. "That is why Black was in our Dorm. Why Everyone thought that He was coming to kill me. That is why Ron kept losing his rat." _

"_He never said he was sorry to me or Crooks." The Muggleborn huffed. _

"_That is Why we Want Padfoot and Moony to return, why we dismissed Ron from this Adventure." Harry sighed. "Ron needs must think that I am keeping him at arm's length so as to not ruin his chances of being Keeper. _

121

Sept 1, 1994

Hogwarts Express

"Why you keeping Ron close, if you plan on excluding him?" Luna asked.

"Ron, while gifted at Chess and Quidditch, is a major slacker, and glutton." Harry sighed, "While I have no true issue with him, or his qualities, something just is off about him." Harry looked at the twins, "Back in '91, was that the first time you used the Muggle Entrance to the platform?"

"Yeah…"

"...Now that you mention it…"

"...We always flooed directly there, before."

"So, why were you outside the pilar? Why was your Mother talking so loud? She only uses that volume, when yelling at you two." Harry looked at Hermione, "Has Ron ever apologize for the Troll?" She shook her head. "Thought not. I think he is not the Friend he claims to be. His anger over the little things, and his Laziness in the face of Classwork, and yet He is able to keep his grades up enough to pass, even with your help…" Harry shook his head, "And from things the Headmaster has let slip…" He looked at the twins, "I fear his Loyalty is not to me, but a white bearded goat."

"I received a package, two days after we got home." He pulled a muggle compact mirror from his pocket. "Lupin hit a couple of thrift stores after he left the School. A little wand work, and a postal owl attack, and I have a cellphone to my Father's second best friend."

Tossing it to the muggleborn, "Many a nights I lay in bed listening to Lupin, as he told me about his best friends. Stories of their Hogwart years, the inner workings of the Marauders and the rules and laws that bound them together. Their highest binding oath, Marauder's Honor. Above House and Family. There was only three things that they agreed were beyond redemption. Perving on the Girl of another Marauder, Betrayal of the Group or Member in good standing, and Directly endangering the Next Generation of Said Group."

"And Black…"

"Might have flirted with Lilly, but never took it further. She was Potter's until She chose another. So if you boys were to declare that the Foxes were your girls, I could not pursue until they chose to engage. You could not seek to hook up with any byrd that caught my eye, but only if I declare that she is mine. Wooing her is my job, but as long as she is not pursuing another, the group is hands off. But of course, it is ,and was, understood that once you claimed a girl, lookibg at another was forbidden."

Harry looked at the girls, "This was written by four boys in the 70's and they were purebloods for the most part…" he sighed, "We mean no offence to the Finer Gendered."

Hermione snorted as she read the Rulebook. "And if we were to take an interest in a bloke… "she peered at the speckled boy, "A boy from another house?"

"Lilly was friends with Snape." Potter looked out the window, "Potter and Black were Pranksters that took it too far. Lupin was a strong ally, but never was aggressive. Snape gave as good as he got, and all, but Dad and Black were bullies." turning his head to look at the twins, "Pranking is one thing, but do not take it to far." he cocked his head, "Prove that you can bring everyone's spirits up, and I will cover what Bagman owes you. I am even willing to invest Potter resources in your venture."

"So, how does Stubby fit into all this?" Luna had a reporter's notebook on the table.

There was a knock at the door, before it raddled open, "Anything from the trolly, Dears?"

"Go ahead, I will cover it." With a snap of his wrist, Harry pick a gold coin out of the air. "Two butterbeers, a box Berties Beans, and three chocolate frogs." he slid the coin to the trolly witch, receiving his goodies, he leaned back into the corner, as the others made their selections.

As the trolly witch cashed out the transaction, "and your change…"

"The other Weasley," Harry nodded the older woman, "Give him what is due, and tell him, We need him to keep his strength up, but he is to share. Keep the rest, even if you can not find him. And thank you, Luv."

The trolly witch smiled, as the door slid closed, and she tottered off.

Picking open the box of beans, Harry poked around, "So, **When,** not if, I am picked for the Games, We will need to be ready. Will need the paperwork handled. Hermione, I am hoping you can handle that, as I will be keeping Ron busy. We do not want Dumbledor poking his broken nose into our game."

"Ah peoples." Hermione called with her nose buried in the book. "The Book rules a School as a Place of Learning, including a compass and staff. Proof needs must be able to handed in during the 'Weighing of the Wands' two weeks after the 'Drawing of Champions' and etc etc." she looked up, "Nothing is said about the number of students, but the Games are one part Recruiting tour, and Bragging Party." She looked about, "Will you have that covered?"

"Luna." Harry turned to look at the blonde. "Will the Potter Institute have a Campus in time?"

Luna blinked...twice, her eyes glazing, "the Potter Institute of Spells and Sorcery,  
Occultism, Familiars, and Foci, will have two locations." She hummed, "There is the Southern Campus, where we study during the winter months, learning Magic found in command of the Island Magicals. The Northern Campus is where we learn the Wanded Subjects and Care of Beasts and Plants of the Old World. The only thing we are lacking is a quidditch team, as most of us do fly brooms but prefer carpets and Beasts."

Luna blinked twice, as she shook her head. "Please don't do that again." She glared at Potter, "It scrambles my head, even more than normal."

"Sorry Luna-love." Harry grinned at the witchling, "According to your answer, You are a member of the Institute as well. I think Hermione would like to join us, as the only subject that she truly sucks at, is flying a broom." Looking the twins, "Of course the perks of hands on training under Padfoot and Moody…"

"We're in." the carrot-topped twins choursed.

"Of course, Tuition can be waived on a case by case basis, but I fear that we are a year round school, and will only be breaking for holidays." he frowned, "Of course, we will need a Muggle Studies and Health professor… maybe you know a doctor or two who would enjoy a year or two sabbatical?" he grinned at the muggleborn, who just rolled her eyes, before returning to her book.

The twins shared a nod. "Harry…"

"...you are showing more wit…"

"... and cunning…"

"...than you have for the last three years."

"Yes." he grinned, his eyes sparkling, "Hermione commented on it yesterday. The Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin, but I ask to go elsewhere."

"Why?" the twins echoed the thoughts of the blonde.

The door to the compartment slammed open. "Scarhead."

"Reason One." Harry glared at the trio in the doorway. "Crabbe. Goyle. Good to see you boys. Out walking your Bitch I see."

Goyle grunted.

Crabbe snorted.

"Bitch?" Malfoy growled.

"Papered Purebred, always whining and growling, never far from your walkers." He looked at Hermione, "Ripper, Marge's Breeding stud is the only thing better pampered than Draci-poo here, and that was by a muggle."

The twins snorted, before lounging in a mirrored position of the Other. "Go way." Fred smirked at the thugs, "And take your yipping mutt with you." Draco went for his wand only for two to sprout under his nose. "This is House Business." George sneered, "If House Malfoy, Crabbe, or Goyle were wanted, needed, or desired, you would have been invited."

The Slytherin thugs grunted, and each dropped a paw on Malfoy's shoulder, and pulled him out. Goyle nodded, before sliding the closed.

121

"Why did you meatheads…" Draco yelled at the troll-bloods.

"House Business." Crabbe grunted. "Your temper is blinding you. Now you tell your Father. House Weasley and House Potter meeting in private."

"But which Weasley." Goyle pushed Malfoy towards his cabin. "Potter meeting with twins, not His Weasley, nor Female."

"Saw Weasley stuffing his face with two other Gryffindorks and the…" Malfoy sneered. "Where is Pansy? I have an idea."

The thugs grunted as they followed in the boss's wake.

121

"Reason One?" Luna asked.

"Yeah." Harry pickup his box of beans, "Met him when Hagrid took me to the Alley, back in '91. Was a real shit-stain." Poking about, he pulled out a green bean. "After everything I was told by the two wizards I trusted at the time, and then seeing him being sorted the House of Ambition, I just asked to go 'anywhere' else. Ended up in the House of the Fools."

"That is 'Foolhardy' Harry." Hermione looked at the speckled boy, before looking the witch beside her. "But there are times…"

Luna smiled.

"Now Harry." George flicked his wrist, trading his wooden wand for a strawberry flavored candy one. "Hermione is handling the Paperwork for this Prank, why did you need us?"

"With P.I.S.S. coming to Hogwarts, The Headmaster and Deputy will be here. If it was just getting them in the door, we got that covered. Hell, I could handle most of the details; Ordering the Robes, getting the Headmaster and Professor onto the grounds and the timing of them strolling in… I have a month." he set the box on the table, "No, I need to keep the Staff and…" He looked at Luna, smirked, "And the Rottfang at bay. Dumbledor and Snape are going to be looking to screw me over. One because I look like my dad, The other from some hidden agenda, that has denied me being raised by my sworn Godfather."

"So we are a distraction." Fred nodded. "We can do that."

"Not so fast." Hermione grinned evilly at the twins. "We heard you Tanked your OWLs." She sat up stiffly. "We take it to the next level. You out Percy, Percy. Be the So-called prefect, the Headboy(s) in training. With every eye watching you teaching the firsties the proper way to cast charms, helping with homework, and the like. Hell, you probably know the rules better than Percy, just so you would know where the line was."

"Think about it." Harry grinned slyly. "No pranks, no blackmarket, nothing but the straight and narrow." he leaned closer, "What would McGonagall think if her two most troublesome became her two most dependable. Snape can not find anything on you…"

The twins looked into each other's eyes, before the shock and horror spread across their faces, only to be replaced a sadistic glee. "And other then being a sign that the world is ending…"

"One thing all Four had…" Harry settled back, knowing he had them. "A second form."

The confusion of the twins faces frowned, "second…"

"...form?"

"Yeah. Moony had a problem." Harry picked out a brown bean with white spots. "When Dad learned about it, he turned to the others and they were there to support their friend. It is why I can not be raised by Lupin."

"Werewolf." Luna blurted out.

"And the curse not only forces the body to undergo a painful transformation, but the beast to attack any Humans about it" Hermione never looked up. "But animals are not affected, not targeted."

"Animals?" three voices asked.

"Prongs, a Stag, a Hart. Padfoot, a dog, a grim." Harry grinned. "Lupin promised to teach me and my friends the magic Prongs and Padfoot used, the next time we were together. Padfoot would be more then happy to help the next Masters of Mayhem fully embrace the Mantle of Marauder."


	3. Chapter 3

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 3

_Harry __grinned. "Lupin promised to teach me and my friends the magic Prongs and Padfoot used, the next time we were together. Padfoot would be more then happy the next Masters of Mayhem fully embrace the Mantle of Marauder."_

121

"_Saw Weasley stuffing his face with two other Gryffindorks and the…" Malfoy sneered. "Where is Pansy? I have an idea."_

121

Ginny was sitting with last year's firsty Gryffindors. They were enjoying wands and quills, as she told them stories she had heard from others, mostly what the rest of the school thought Potter got up to, and how off they truly were.

The door slid open. "Congrats Weasley." cooed a voice that froze every witchling in the car. "Or should I say 'Potter'?" Pansy simpered a laugh.

"Get lost Hag," Ginny snarled, her wand blooming in her hand, drawing it from a wrist sheath, a birthday gift, owled in from her brother Charlie. "I have no idea what you are spewing, and give even less to know."

"Just heard that House Potter was in talks with House Weasley, and your brother, the Glutton was not." the witch in green trimmed robes sneered, "Thought I would offer my congratulations on scoring the second richest wizard in our school."

"Second Richest?" Vane asked waving her sugar quill at the Snake Princess, "Not if what my Mother's Uncle has to say is true." Her smile was truly predatory. "Potter is set to inherit both the Potter line...And the Black!"

"You lie!" Pansy hissed, "Black falls to Malfoy!" She turned and strode from the door.

"Yes." Vane smirked at Ginny, "Black will fall to Malfoy...If Potter does not live to claim what is his. My Mother's Uncle works in Inheirantice. At the end of last school term, Lord Malfoy tried to claim, in his wife's name and his Son's of course, the Black Estate. He could have gone to the Goblins, but that is playing with Axes." she lick her quill, "He was denied. My great uncle, even had to warn him, that should he try again before Draco is of Age, Dear Luci would be charged with Line-Theft."

121

Ron was having perfect day.

No one was trying for the Keeper position, but the rest of the team knew he wanted it, and thanks to his ties to Potter and the twins, it was all but his.

Harry had given him a gold to spend on 'frogs, and he had pulled a Dagworth-Granger and a Scamander. Two cards he was missing for his collection.

With him sharing a compartment with Samus and Dean, he did not have to Listen to the know-it-all chipmunk admonish him over his enjoyment of talking and picking apart the Quiditch World Cup plays, and how he would have done it.

Yes, he was having a perfect day.

121

"What about our stash?" Fred asked.

Harry smiled, "Hide it. Tonight. We want you to _play_ the Perfect Prefect, not be it. After I am drawn… everyone third year and up is fair game. Leave the Firsties alone, and the Seconds will be teaching them the ropes. If a prank is targeting the Whole school…" Harry shrugged. "But for every snake you target, include a raven, badger, and lion." he frown at them, "I detest bullies. Now Black and Potter were heavy handed in their treatment of Snape, half the reason he hates me."

"I just had a thought," George looked about, "Ron was asking if we knew who got the captain's badge. What if this… game is taking place of our Quiditch season?"

Harry exchanged a look with Hermione, "Not going to happen." He grinned at the twins, "Malfoy will see to it."

The twins excused themselves and returned to their cabin, to fold Lee into the plot and prepare for the Prank.

Luna decided to write to her Father, about the tragic story of the 'Lost Grim,' and with the Facts limited, but enough to give old Xeno a lead or two to flesh out the full story. It was time to set the Snorkacks aside, and defang the Rotfang.

Hermione was nose deep in the rule book, scratching out notes to look up in the Library, as she decoded the rules and bylaws of the 'triwizard tournament'. Here was something that could help Harry, Help Black, and yes, even help herself. She was not going to miss months of Classes again, just because no one was looking out for the students.

Harry leaned back in the corner, back to the window, Hedwig on his knee, as he scratched her feathered chest.

121

The ride up to the Castle was a blur, as the students of the Institute moved to carry out their plot. Lee drew a small chest from his pocket once he was in a closet, near the Great Hall. Calling an elf he knew the name of. "Teaki!" He hissed "If you have a minute?"

"How Teaki help Mister Lee?" the blunt faced elf asked from his knee.

Lee grinned at the little 'guy', once again thinking that the elf had it's head slammed into a wall or door. "We need this Trunk hidden until after Halloween."

"No Prankses." the elf was very firm. "Just the one. It will building until Halloween. For the last Five years we have been…"

"Naughty."

Lee nodded, "Yes, that is one word for it. From tonight until Halloween night, the three of us are going to be more like last year's Headboy." the buggy eyes grew even bigger, looking like they were further from the poor elf's face than 'his' nose. "Now most of the teachers are going to be watching us to see if we are up to something. And when we take no act, play no prank, and out prefect Percy…"

"Teachies get spooked." the elf sneered, "Elveses get in on this?"

"If you want." Lee unshrunk the trunk, "Will tell you why we are doing this." he pushed the trunk at the elf. "Potter is planning something, big." he stepped back to the door. "His father big. And needed some cover. If the teacher are looking at Us, no one will watching him." his hand found the knob. "Please hide that, until after November first, and spread the word. We three are on our best behavior…" grinning pearly whites, "Watch us if you want." he was gone.

Tic'ing to 'himself' the elf shook 'his' head. "They no need watching, they need looking after." a snap of 'his' fingers, the trunked vanished...followed shortly by the elf.

121

Once the firsties were sorted, and the Feast devoured, the Headmaster stood to deliver his new for the coming years. "First the bad news. This Year's Quidditch season is cancelled."

"You must be Joking!" the Weasley twins chorused, standing in unison. They seemed to be channeling their mother.

"Sadly I am not, but I heard one the other day about a one legged leprechaun." Albus smiled in his grandfatherly style.

McGonagall moved to remind him of the purpose of tonight's speech, when he Favorite Cub stood and yelled across the Hall. "Hear that Malfoy! Another year you will never beat me to the snitch! And this Year, I do not even need to get on a broom!"

"Not bloody Likely!" Malfoy roared back, "Just wait until my Father hears of this!"

"See George." Harry turned to the twins, still speaking loudly, "Told you Malfoy would see to it." half of the red robed students giggled, as the green gowned hissed. Their 'Prince' was just baited before the Hall, and Snape could not move to back him, as he would have to punish his own house too.

As the three Griffs retook their seats, Albus looked over his glasses at his second. He could see her pride in her cubs, as they had all but returned the Season to Hogwarts, and with a few words. Lord Malfoy would lean his Power and coin on everyone who had pull, to get the Quidditch Season in place, just for his scion and heir to show up Potter.

As his swept over the Hall, he noticed that his agent in Lion's Den was staring at him blankly. 'Oh that's right, the Glutton wanted to Keep this year.' he nodded, "Mister Malfoy, we welcome any help you and your Father can give us. But it was Cancelled because we are Chosen to Host…" he drew in a deep breath, pausing for the effect, "Triwizard Tournament!"

Dead quiet.

"Eternal Glory and One Thousand Galleons goes to the Winner of this most prestigious Event, that will pit our Best against the Best of two other Schools."

That put the Krup among the Kneazles, as the hall started whispering to each other.

"So." he clapped his hands, "No students permitted in the Forest, No magic in the Halls, and for the list of the prohibited and proscribed items, please see the entire list posted on Mister Filch's office door. Prefects, take 'em away!" He strode from the room, Snape and McGonagall on his heels. 'Well, it seems that the boy is leaning into his harness. Now let's see where he is pulling us.' only to pause when two voices,in concert, rose above the din…

"Oi, Firsties…" both twins called as they stood,

"...This way please."

"Step lively now."

"We have far to go…"

"...And much to do when we get there."

"Oi! Fred, George, what are you planing?" the fifth year Griff male prefect stepped close.

"Nothing." Fred nodded to the sixth year who stood a step behind the fifth year.

"Just thought you and …" George leered the younger boy.

"...Would want to get to inspecting the Broom Closets." Fred added his leer, making sure to hide it from the firsties gathering.

"All those impressionable girls…"

"...luring unsuspecting boys…"

"... into those dark and cramped holes in these Hallowed walls." they finished as one.

The two boys shared a glance, a shrug, and a nod. "The password is Victory." the older pinned boy glared at the twins, "Remember, Percy told me the secret to keeping you two in line. I am willing to use it."

"Sir." the twins nodded, before herding the younger students into the entryway.

"Now. Pay attention." Fred addressed the ducklings following them. "Hogwarts is Ancient."

"Seven years of students." George

"each year…"

"...every year…"

"...for the last thousand years." Fred led the way to a tapestry just off the Grand Staircase.

Hermione cleared her throat, drawing the attention of everyone in the hall. The twins, the first years, Harry, and Neville. "Just what are you two doing?"

The twins shared a look. "Granger…" George started this one,

"...rather then walk up five floors…"

"...before stepping over two halls…"

"...then up two more floors…"

"...we though the firsties would enjoy a quicker route." they choursed.

"Of course, in the Morning, we will come down the proper way." Fred promised.

"Okay." Granger crossed her arms.

"Show us." Potter grinned at the kids, "Tell us more."

"Where were we?" Fred asked.

"A thousand years of students." a witchling called out.

"Ah yes." Fred snickered at the Hermione clone, the witch was even hugging a book to her chest. "A Thousand years of students…"

"... casting spells, daily…"

"...Then you add in the wards…"

"...The ley-lines…"

"The House-Elves." snarled Hermione.

The older purebloods snapped around to look at the Muggleborn.

"Ah, Granger." Longbottom spoke up, "We will talk about that once we get to the Tower." He stood defiant in the face of her Glare.

"Ah, yes." Fred sighed.

"The elves." George shook his head.

"The Lesson we were going to share on Saturday."

"It seems that all Muggle-born will need this one."

"Weasley!" Hermione's wand glowed with a blue spark at the tip.

"Ah yes." they choursed. Fred tugged a tassel, causing the heavy woven wall covering to billow out. George led the way, his wand trailing a light stream as he wound his way up the three floors worth of stairs. The firsties followed along, ducklings after their mama. At the top of the stairs, a knocker hung in the center of the wall. A Grim, snarling around the massive Ring in it's teeth. George, using his off hand, knocked, causing the wall to his left to split, allowing everyone to exit, just meters from the Fat Lady.

The door closed behind Harry as Just Ginny stomped up the last five steps, and turned into the Hallway.

"See even beat this third year." Fred waved at his sister from behind the younger kids, having no shame about using them as a shield against her temper.

"Morgana!" Ginny panted, "I forgot to get the password…"

"Victory!" the twins shouted.

"Yes dears?" the Fat Lady pressed up against her canvas, looking down at the twins. "And why are you leading this years new crop?" she frowned at the twins, expecting trouble.

"Just showing them the way home."

"No mischief?"

"Not tonight."

"We decided to be more like our Brothers."

"As you say," the painting swung open, allowing the sixth year female Prefect to see the group…


	4. Chapter 4

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

CH 4

ISDH

121

"_No mischief?" the Fat Lady asked the twins_

"_Not tonight." they were perfect Angels..._

"_We decided to be more like our Brothers."_

"_As you say," the painting swung open, allowing the sixth year female Prefect to see the group…_

121

"Just do you think you two are doing?" Her dorm mate, Katy had told many stories over the years…

"Just we told our Dear Lady…"

"...just showing the kiddies…"

"...the ropes." Fred waggled his eyebrows at the girl, "If you are interested, we can show you a completely different set of ropes…" only to yelp as Hermione fired a stinging hex into his butt cheek.

"Ladies." the Fourth year slung her wand, "There is a time and a place for this behavior. While they are just joking, as they are supposed to be showing you to the Tower." She patted Fred on the face as she strutted by, "You can not just hex any boy you please. But when the dog is humping your leg…"

"Well…" Harry followed in her wake, "I always knew she was cat person."

"Says the guy who is whipped by his Owl." Neville moved toward the stairs to his bed, before calling back over his shoulder, "Herbology help, every friday, after classes."

Harry and Hermione sat on the couches before the minor fire.

"Okay, now that we are here..."

"The point we were making earlier…"

"...a place as old…"

"...Steeped in damn near every form of magic…"

"...known to man…"

"...or otherwise…"

"...as our dear Hogwarts…"

"...will have some quirks."

"Most are benien…"

"...very few are malicious."

"There are times we would swear the very stone is alive." they choursed.

Fred smiled at the kiddies, "Treat her like the Lady she is…"

"...She will repay it, three and ten Fold." George stepped to the side, "This side is the Girls Dorm. There are wards to prevent males from entering, we can not even set foot on the steps without the wards going to hell."

"This side is for us Young men." Fred waved in the direction Neville went. "While the girls are allowed to visit, we do not advise this act…"

"...at this time." they choursed.

Hermione snorted. "Okay girls, First door up the stairs, your trunks are waiting. You can trade beds if you want, but odds are you will be in that position for the next seven years."

"We will be getting up at half seven..." Fred called the attention back to him.

"...So be ready to descend for breakfast at eight."

The two fifth year prefects shared a look, nodded, and left the twins to their game. The first years scrambled up their stairs to their rooms, ready to begin their new lives as Gryffindors.

121

Oct. 29, 1994

Everything was going to plan.

The twins were perfect angels, no pranks, perfect grades in all classes (execpt potions...Snape!) The teachers were getting twitchy, especially Snape.

Quiditch was back on, with the first game on it's usual date...the third saturday of November. Harry was named Quiditch Captain, but with the coming ternimet, he had Ginny borrow his Firebolt, and play seeker. He named Ron his second, and explained to the others why. This year Katey was in her OWLs year, and next the other two chasers would be in their NEWTs. Ron was the only one who came near Wood in Quiditch Fever. Practice was every Wednesday and Saturday nights, after dinner. Harry had a spare for every post on his team, but the Beaters, he had two, the Creevy boys.

The Marauders were ready, staying at #12 Grimmauld Place, until noon on the 31st. Then they would move into the castle from the 'Shack'. The robes for Harry, and the Professors of the coming Fourth School had arrived. (Little did Harry know but the Twins, Lee, Luna, and Hermione had ordered robes too.)

The paperwork had been filled out, signed, filed, and was just waiting to be turned in.(Again everyone had moved to join Harry.)

The special 'House Elf' class had gone well-ish. One word… Dobby.

121

Flashback

The little guy had mugged Harry as he followed the group of first years, second year muggleborn, and Hermione into the Kitchens. "Great Wizard Harry Potter Sir! Are you here to see Dobby?" a squeaky voice from his knees was Harry's only warning.

The underclassmen had a good laugh, as Harry explained what was going on, before catching up with his little friend. Before they left, Harry had been tricked into bonding with Dobby, and to everyone's surprise, Winky.

"Potter… Harry James…" Hermione growled.

"No. You might have missed it, but I noticed the change in Dobby _and_ Winky. Both calmed down, and both grew Healthier. I also noticed the draw on my Magic. If bonding caused that big a draw, imagine the pain they felt when cut loose." Harry watched her face shift from anger to horror, "Now image how bad Dobby was treated to want that…"

Her face paled even more. "Now I know what they went through, so you know I will treat them well. If you what, you can have Winky, because I personally have little need for a female elf."

"No. Not ready to take it that far… yet."

In the end, Winky was sent to care for Remus and Sirius, and was being groomed as the Black Elf. Kreacher was not happy, but was pleased that the 'Bad Master' had secured an Heir, even if not his prefered heir… until he heard Dobby's tale… no heads on the wall, just kicked to the curb, and killed.

121

What not as planned;

Luna Lovegood was still being targeted by her house.

Harry had gotten into the habit of watching her on the map each night as curfew approached, and if she was not in her dorm or common room at the strike of the bell, he would slip his Father's cloak on, and go get her. So far, she spent at least one night per week in the Lion's Den. Usually on the couch before the fire, but twice, Ginny invited her upstairs.

Ron had taken to slacking off even more on the homework front. Harry mentioned it to the boy, and Ron made a comment about having Hermione do it for him. Harry slapped him down before Hermione could hex him, "You need to do the work, in front of me, or I will cut you from the team, even if you are the best Keeper since Wood." When Ron opened his mouth to retort, "I will also tell McGonagall and your Mother. If I going to keep that Cup in our Head's Office, I need the best, and not just on the pitch!"

In the end, Ron buckled. But Harry had to promise to take him to a Cannon's Game if McGonagall kept the cup, and Ron kept an A average.

Dumbledor and Snape were giving Harry the Hairy Eye, but thanks to his summer classes, Harry knew not to look them in the eye.

Harry sighed as the Map showed Miss Chang Walking Luna out of the Ravenclaw common room again. He did not even wait, he just flipped the cloak on right in the middle of the common room, before heading out.

He came upon Chang forcing Luna to strip to her knickers at wandpoint. "...is why you just don't quit? What could be keeping you here?" as the Asian witch vanished the clothes.

"P.I.S.S. O.F.F." the blonde snarled, finally showing anger.

"What did you say to me?" Chang raised her wand.

"Piss off." Harry striped away the cloak, "You will not be welcome." his wand flicked '**Stupify'** The fifth year was knocked against the wall then left to slide to the floor in a crumpled heap. "Dobby." the elf popped in next to his master's knee. "Miss Luna needs a dressing gown and slippers. Then move her things to Gryffindor Tower." a snap of his long fingers, and a red and gold robe were about the blonde's shoulders and slippers encased her feet. The elf popped away to obey.

"Moving me into the tower?"

"Only two nights." Harry flared his cloak to flutter over them both, "then we will be in the Piss Quarters." as they faded from view, "We just need to get your Dad to sign the paperwork."

"Already signed, filed, and just waiting until the night after tomorrow to be handed over. Remember, give them to McGonagall, she handles the Admin paperwork."

121

10/31/94

The last two days, everything fell into place.

The Quibbler ran an in depth issue on the Black case and the Rotfang trying to kill the Lord of the Realm. Everyone was quoting passages here and there, and while only a few pure bloods showed it, all were worried about what the possibility of the Ministry ordering the Death of a Lord would mean in a court of law.

Of course, The Profit ran a couple of articles about how everything was on the up and up, (Umbridge, UnderSecretary to the Minister) but they would call off the 'Kiss on Sight' and recheck the Court Records(Bones Director of DMLE).

Then the Guest Schools arrived. Of course Fred and George had lined up the first three years of gryffs and cast warming charms on them, causing the Prefects of the other houses to do the same, or be out prefected by the 'red terrors'.

First to arrive was Beauxbatons, a gigantic carriage pulled by six massive horses, Abraxis, that landed roughly, and rolled to a stop forty yards from the Great Doors. A lad, hopped off the back, bounding to the door, he folded out a set of steps, then knocked on the gilded wood, stepped back as the door swung open, and out stepped a goddess of a woman…

"Headmistress Maxime." Dumbledor swept up to her, kissing her hand… and not having to even incline his head… "Perhaps you and your students would like to await Igor inside, Hagrid will care for your beasts, McGonagall will show you were to wait." the Teachers he named stepped forward.

"My Horses only drink single malt scotch." the giantess nodded to Hagrid.

The Creatures Professor nodded back slack faced, as McGonagall snorted, "Horses after me heart. Bring your students, and let's get you out of the nasty weather."

Just then, a shout rang out, drawing everyone's attention to the black lake… and the man standing waist deep in the center of the lake. With a wave of his arms, he grabbed something only he see, and pulled… heaved. A massive single masted vessel exploded from the depths, once clear of the water, Sails, flaired, Umber with the Durmstrang coat-of-Arms in Gold. The Ship swung towards the pier, and moving against the wind, pulled into position, where ropes snapped out, and lashed itself to the dock. The gangplank extended, biting into the warped wood, just as the fur bundled forms marched, in lock step, two abreast, behind their Headmaster.

Albus was there to shake the man's hand, "Good to see you, Snape will show you to your waiting room."

"Waiting Room?"

"Beauxbatons arrived first, they get to enter first." Snape snarked, "This way." they disappeared into the castle.

"Okay, to your tables." the squeaky voice of the Charming Charms Professor called across the students, and everyone trudged into the castle…

121

Now was the night.

Harry was dressed, as was Black and Lupin, in their 'P.I.S.S.' robes. Harry then pulled his Hogwarts cloak on, and settled back. His wand was in a wand sheath, strapped to his left arm. And the paperwork was divided and folded, ready to be handed to McGonagall. The mirror was in Hermione's possion, and Harry was just waiting for the dinner bell.

Dinner was that night was rather quiet, as everyone ate their fill and watched the Goblet. The Twins had opened a triple bet pool. You could bet on which school got which champion, one bet per school, or you could try your luck, at triple the odds, and name all three Champions on one bet.

The Minster and his Toad… er toady, Umbridge was there, as was Bones(any excuse to visit Susan) as well as Bagman and Crouch. Skeeter and Bozo were in the background.

The great clock over the doors clicked, just before the clock struck 9:00 pm.

"Show time." Hermione whispered to 'her' mirror.

As the blue flames in the golden cup flickered out, Albus moved to stand near by, so did the Weasley twins, a chalkboard and an accounting ledger in hand. Albus frowned at the boys, until he saw the board… the odds were written in three different colours. Red for D.I.M., blue for Beauxbatons, and Gold for Hogwarts. The main light candles near snuffed themselves, allowing the cup to be the source of Light in the Hall.

Suddenly the flames resurged from the cup, Hellish Crimson shading and foreshadowing the Death awaiting those chosen. A scrap of parchment fluttered down for Albus to catch.

"For Durmstrang, Victor Krum!"

"Heavily chosen, Those who bet for Krum, get only double." Fred called out, as George marked the Board, their Hogwarts cloaks pulled tight about them.

Krum stood from the Slytherin table, and strode to the ante room off the Head table…

A second red flare, a second scrap of parchment fluttered into the headmaster's grasp.

"For Beauxbatons, Fleur DeLacour!"

"Not as heavily favored, as most of us who knew her, were left agog at her beauty. The payout is triple." a few cheers went up, mostly younger students.

The walking sex dream stood and drifted after Krum.

And the Third flare… the Last slip of parchment…

"Hogwarts… Cedric Diggory!"

As the pretty boy stood and waited for the twins…

"Heavily favored, double what was bet on either of his fellow chosen… tied with our Dear Angela… second only to…" Fred looked at Albus "Harry Potter."

The Gryffindors laughed, the Ravenclaws snickered, and the Hufflepuffs giggled.

"Payout, is only half again your bet."

Cedric nodded, and trotted off to the other room.

Albus raised his hands to calm the room… when the Goblet flared a fourth time.

Everyone froze. Albus barely caught the slip in time…

As the goblet truly died out, and the Candles around the Hall flaired to life.

"Harry Potter."


	5. Chapter 5

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 5

ISDH

121

"_Harry Potter"_

"On my mark." Hermione whispered.

Harry stood, having sat with his back to the Center isle, so he now was the center of attention, at the center of the Hall. "This one is for you, Dad… Prongs." he whispered. Raising his wand in his right hand, "I, Harry James Potter, do by swear on my Magic, I did not enter, nor ask anyone to enter my name for selection, by my will, so mote it be." a flare of Azure, flashed as Magic sealed the Oath, '**Expecto Patronum'**

A silver Stag burst from his wand, flinging it's biblical rack in the air, as it pranced about the Hall. As it stepped before it's Caster, it bowed it's head, before raring on it's hind legs… and exploding. In its place stood a skeletal horse with batlike wings. This new form 'nuzzled' Potter, before fading away.

"Seeing as I did not enter, Do I have to compete?" Harry asked the Hall at Large.

"The Goblet chose you." the man identified as Barty Crouch spoke up. "You are a Champion."

"Now just a bloody minute here!" Igor Karkaroff bellowed, "How does Hogwarts get two Champions?"

"She doesn't." Harry answered over the other Adults. "Headmistress McGonagall, I have bad news, I am afraid. I was warned that this might happen, and so I took steps." Harry approached the Head Table, pulling a pack of forms from his inside breast pocket. "This is my notice that I am no longer a student of Hogwarts, as the Rules clearly state 'One Champion per School'. He handed her the folded parchment. Once it was in her Hand, he shrugged off the black cloak, revealing his white robes, the snowy owl perched on a crystal ball, surrounded by the words

**POTTER INSTITUTE of SPELLS AND SORCERY**

**OCCULTISM FAMILIARS and FOCI**

Of course the back of his robes got a Roar from the Table of the Brave, a Gasp from the Table of the Loyal, a snort from the Table of the Curious, and a hiss from the 'Cunning'

Pulling the next packet from his pocket, "Now Headmistress, My School will be needing accommodations. I was told that the old 'Lords Wing' will do, There are only three… no, there are four of us tonight."

"Harry, My boy…" Albus closed on Harry's left hand side, "...you are talking nonsense. You will of course remain with your housemates in the tower."

"Albus, my host…" Harry grinned at the Headmaster, as the old wizard flinched at the greeting. "Would love to, but the Student rulebook states that only members of a House may stay in said House without permission of the Headmaster."

"And I am giving it to you." Albus was Piety itself.

"Ah, yes, but _You_ are no longer my Headmaster."

"Mark."

"And just who is…" Albus was interrupted by the Great Hall Doors being flung open, as Sirius Black and Remus Lupin strutted into the Great Hall.

"BLACK!" Shouted Fudge, cowering behind Umbridge.

"That is Headmaster Black to you!" the fugitive grinned as he picked at his Robes, before frowning and turning to Lupin, "Did we have to wear these, they do nothing for my complection."

"Only during Ceremonial occasions." Lupin slouched two feet away, grinning just to be back. "You can take them off when we get to our rooms. And only put them on, for Official Potter Institute Business."

"Okay." Looking about, seeing half of the teachers, and most of the Ministry Personnel had wands drawn on him, "So, is this the Word of the Great Albus W.P.B. Dumbledor is worth, now?" He held his hands up, empty, "I was under the impression that Headmasters were Asylumed until the Turny was complete."

"Properly accredited Headmasters." Director Bones hissed.

"Ah, that is if I was a teacher." Black swung his hands to behind his back, "As an administer of the School, and Friend of the School's Founder, James Potter, I just have to prove that the books are in order...to our Government." He turned his roguish smile on Bones, "Now Ami, I know I was a bad dog, leaving our date like that, but I thought you atleast would ask questions before firing curses at me, or are you part of my assassination plan?"

"There is no Assassination Plan!" screamed Umbridge, "Just good people trying to protect Society from the likes of you!"

"What did he do?" Harry asked, glaring at the Toadish witch, "What did he do, that warranted him being denied a trial, and sent to that Hellhole?" Turning to glare at the Director, "Have _You_ found anything?"

"What's going on?" Cedric yelled, drawing every eye to him and the other two Champions, "We were waiting, but all we heard was yelling…" he then noticed the three dressed in white… "Shit, Harry. Did you get chosen too?"

"Yeap." Harry plucked at his robes, "Just not for Hogwarts."

"Twins?" the Hufflepuff seeker turned to the two redheads, against the wall.

Fred handed a packet of Parchment to George, before bringing up his Ledger, "Had Potter won for Hogwarts, a Gallion would earn you a sickle…" George handed two folded packets to McGonagall, and as he stepped back to his twin's side. "But only three people bet that he would be chosen… not for Hogwarts. Their Gallion gets them … Ten, each." He tucked the ledger into his robe, causing his cloak to fall to the floor, George's not a second behind it. Both wearing P.I. white robes.

"Sorry Headmistress," Harry ran his hand through his hair. "Looks like our number is upto six, now."

Cedric grinned, "Sweet." Rubbing his hands together, "Jackpot!"

"Headmaster, what is going on here?" Fudge demanded, stepping away from his shield-toad…

"I do believe we are being pranked." Albus eased himself into his throne like chair. "And quite the set up, if I am reading things properly. Potter here, heard about the tournament, and 'learned' that his name would be chosen. Because Igor needed certain protections, a blanket Sanctuary is in effect on these grounds. Potter spun a school out of thin air, hired these two," he waved his hand at the two Adults in white, "and now has Seven Months to reconnect with his Father's friends."

"Close sir." Harry pulled a scroll from otherside inside pocket. Handing it to Bones. "Potter Institute is a real school, with two campuses, one this side of the Triangle, and one in Greenland. While listening to Lupin talk about my Father, I noticed that He and the Headmaster taught many of the underclassmen about things most Wizards take for granted. Things that I knew nothing about until my third year." Harry shrugged, "besides, due to a meddling old fool, I can not even access my House Accounts until I am of age."

"So how do you have…" Fudge pushed in,

"Inheritances from old men, willing them to me, to avoid them going to Family or the Ministry." Harry pulled a pockwatch from his pocket, "I even hold the line to six noble Houses, just to keep them from those who would abuse them.

"Aurors, stand down." Bones sheathed her wand, "Headmaster Black, you are bound by Law and Magic, to remain on Hogwarts Grounds, any attempt to leave, breaks your Sanctuary, but I ask that you Defend this Castle as you would your Institute."

"No!" Umbridge snarled, "Kill him and the bloody wolf. We do not need their kind here!" Her pudgy fist pounding the table, "Remove them and their abominations from our…"

'**Stupify.'** The squeaky voice of the Charms Master cut off the Pink Horror. "Sorry, but Hogwarts Sanctuary is above Ministry Law, and given the … woman's views, something had to give."

"Noted." Bones smirked, "Dawlish, escort the Undersecitaury back to the Ministry. Room three, I believe. Her reactions to Black, and this 'Assassination Plan' sits wrong in my craw." Turning to look at Dawlish, "Oh, and John, if she is not there when I get there, you will face my ...displeasure."

"Now see here!" Fudge moved to defend his minion… until the glass of Bones' Monocle flashed in his direction.

"Now, Minster, you would not be interfering with a DMLE investigation, would you?" Her face was like carved stone, "That would put you in the chair next to her…"

"Not at this time." Fudge backed away.

"Okay…" Harry looked at his pocket watch, "Now, can we get back to the reason we are here?"

"McGonagall." Luna stepped up beside Harry, "I need to give you this." Another folded pack of Parchment was pushed on her, "Duel Master, I have enjoyed your Classes, but I find your House to be lacking. Professor Lupin has helped where you either could not, or would not."

Flitwick raised an eyebrow, "Sorry to lose a bright mind like your Miss Lovegood. You certainly put a smile on my face." An eye washed over his House, seeing a few bowed heads, he nodded to himself.

"Okay." Bagman bounced forward, "Four Champions, for Four Schools. The first Task will be on the 22nd, and as it is a test of Skill and Bravery in the Face of the Unknown, that is all We will be telling you."

"You forgot the Wand Weighing Ceremony." Crouch grunted. "It will be the week before." He nodded to Bones, "Come Bagman, let's leave the Headmasters to clean up this mess."

Bagman cheerfully waved to everyone as he followed the sour faced Director out.

"Rita Skeeter, Daily Profit." the acid green glasses wearing blond popped by Harry, "A moment of your time…"

"Sorry Miss Skeeter," Harry grinned back. "I signed a contract with the Quibbler. If you are wanting anything not given in a press release, press conference, or Public Forum, you will need to alter your bi-line. As I am tired, from all the excitement," Harry turned to McGonagall, "Headmistress, shall we see to our new quarters? It will give Director Bones a few minutes to soften up Albus, before you turn him into your new favorite scratching post."

McGonagall nodded as she led the way from the Great Hall. Once past the Doors she called for her elf, "Tocky!"

"Miss Kitty called?" the elf that appeared at her knee, as she strode to and up the stairs, wore a length of tartan cloth matching her skirts, slung over the left shoulder and tied at the waist, giving the impression of wear a kilt.

"I need the Lord's wing opened, and prepared. It seems we are Hosting a fourth School." the unamused Headmistress spoke. "It also seems that these students need their things collected from the dorms and delivered."

"All be done." the elf popped away.

"Minnie," Black spoke softly, as they created the third floor, before turning North. "You are welcome to visit...anytime. I will even swear a magical oath, to answer any question truthfully...for the night… in our quarters or your office." He grinned at her, "you will need to bring the whiskey, though. I can not leave the grounds."

McGonagall glared at her former student, before snorting. "Friday, after classes." She turned down a richly carpeted hallway.

Tocky was waiting for them. "Rooms be ready." He waved at the rooms on his left, "Headmaster and Professor here. Room reinforced, for moon nights." to the right, "Ladies here."

"Only female student…" McGonagall began, before glaring at Harry. "Granger?"

"Yes." Harry sighed, "Jordan too. No one else is planned. Not taking Ron nor Ginny, as they are needed if you are going to keep that Cup in your office. Which reminds me, I will need you there at the common room tomorrow after dinner. My last duty as Team Captain."

Tocky moved back one doorway. Waving left, "Twins and friend here. Two bunk beds in larger room, other converted into lab. Normal Lab for Hoggy Students only." Waving Right, "Champion here. Other room turned into Spell training." Tocky bowed. "Only You can open these doors. Elf magic imprinted your magic to the locks. You can enter each other's Quarters, except only Adults in females, and by invite to Adults." He nodded. "You have two elves, yes. Cuppi and Ticky serve as keepers. Please use as needed." He popped away.

"You will sit at the Gryffindor table when you join us for meals." McGonagall spoke, her brogue starting to show, "That way each table has claim to a champion. You only must sit there during Official Tournament Functions. Now if you will excuse me…" the Deputy Headmistress strode off to ream the bearded fool verbally.


	6. Chapter 6

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 6

ISDH

Albus sat back in his cushy desk chair. As he gathered his thoughts, his eyes swept over those that assembled to talk about tonight's events. The Minster and Director Bones were standing by the floo, as Moody and Snape stood at his shoulder. Karkaroff paced back and forth in front of the desk as Madam Maxine loomed in the background. Flitwick and Sprout sat in front of the Bookshelves to the right of the desk.

'The boy saved my ass by his stunt, but removed himself from my Control. Will have to fix that, quickly. As Black is protected by the Blanket Sanctuary, I can not remove him that way...Will need to …'

The Door blew open as McGonagall stormed in, Completely ignoring the others, "What the Hell is Harry Potter doing, Contacting Black for this Plan of his? Lupin I understand, they bonded over the last year, But Black? You said that Black Betrayed James and Lily, and while I did not believe it possible, I trusted You! Like I trusted you that the bairn would be safe at his Aunt's…"

"Potter is With Petunia?" Snape Roared. "You said he was…" The Potion Master cut off as his Oath kicked in. "I will no longer be your Bludger. Do your own dirty work." He stormed from the Room.

"What was that about?" Fudge asked, confused.

"Just Owls coming home to roost." Snarled McGonagall, "For Years Albus has telling everyone that Potter was being well cared for, but in truth, the Boy has been treated like a House Elf in the care of some of our Darker Houses." She drew herself to her full height, "If it would not leave the Students at your mercy, small that it is, I would follow the boy right out of Hogwarts. One more gross misstep, I will bring charges to the Board that not only are you _Not _fulfilling your Duties to the School, but you are actively endangering the Students!" here the pissed Scot turned and mimicked her younger colleague, storming from the office. "We are _Not_ done with this, but I need to go, or I will hex you until you are _completely _useless!"

"Minnie, wait up." Bones was right on her tail.

Karkaroff thumped his fists on the Desk, "I was promised that Hogwarts would only have one Champain…"

"And we only have one. Diggory." Albus smiled benignly at the scrawny Headmaster. "While yes, Potter was a student here, his slip never said Hogwarts. When his Slip was read, naming him a Champain, he changed schools, including finding a Headmaster. Now how was he able to do it? Ask Miss Lovegood, but I warn you, do it nicely. Potter protects his friends. He has already faced a Cebris and a Basilisk, and drove off a pack Dementors, for his friends."

"And the reason 'e is not a contender for 'Ogwarts' position?" the Giantess rumbled.

"Too young, and he wanted a normal year." Albus popped a lemon drop into his mouth, before offering the dish about the room. All declined. "Either reason, I fully support, and truly wish His Name had not come from the Goblet." He rattled the hard candy about his teeth, 'Just not for the reasons you think.'

"What does this mean for Us?" Fudge sounded a bit panicky.

"The Question should be 'How did the brat put his name in?'" Igor ranted.

"Easy." Moody grunted, as he shifted his staff so he could lean in to Igor, "Potter didn't enter his own name. His Oath before the Great Hall saw to that. More likely someone is trying to kill the Lad." Moody's eye swiveled about to look at Igor from a second angle. "All it would need was a overpowered confundus charm, to change the number of Schools, drop in a slip of parchment from his home work…" Moody grinned at the former Death Eater, "Instant Death threat turns into an assassination attempt. Now all you need to do is figure out who entered his name." He straightened up, "These old bones need their rest. G'Night all." he 'stumped' from the office.

"Come Pomona," Flitwick squeaked, "Let's go congratulate your boy. Hogwarts is depending on him." the half goblin tottered from the office, the hedge witch on his heels. "We will visit Potter tomorrow, when cooler heads are in the game." the door boomed on their heels.

"I have to get back, my students are wanting to toast our Champion." snarled Karkaroff, as he turned from Albus's desk. "Don't want them to get too wild."

"Mhh." Maxine shifted to follow, "Need to see that my students are taking their loss in stride. Poor Fleur 'as not the best of relations with 'er classmates."

Soon it was Just Fudge, and Albus.

"Albus, Why would Potter call in Black of all people?"

"Remember last year?" Albus smiled benignly at the rotund minister, "They told you Black was innocent. I do believe that they had a hand in providing him with an escape plan and method."

"I will have them arrested!" the green bowler hat bounced as it was thrown to the desk.

"Yes, do that." Albus smiled as he stroked his beard, "Then you can explain to Bones, the Profit, and the Public why you arrested the Boy-Who-Lived, tried to murder his sworn Godfather, and refused all evidence that Black was innocent."

Fudge choked. Whatever he was going to say, dieing on his tongue, before passing his lips. 'Luci is not paying me enough to go against Potter right now. We spent too much time and money building the boy to be a hero.' Unfortunately, as Fudge was thinking this, he was in eye contact with Albus… and the Headmaster 'saw and heard' everything.

"Should you not get back to the Office, Minister?" the kindly Headmaster asked, "Umbridge is going to be pumped for every drop on information Bones can squeeze from her. You will need to… protect yourself from the fallout."

"Merlin!" the pinstripe wearing fool, dove into the green flames calling out his private floo address.

"Let's see. Headmasters handled, Potter's move cover my ass on that one." Albus tapped the desk with a finger, "But slipped his leash. Will need Weasley to rein him in… With Black here, and given time, Bones is going to learn the truth… but nothing I can about that tonight. The weekend would be best. Fudge is going to be busy covering his ass with Umbridge, and Bones is going to be busy wringing her dry… oh to be a fly on that wall." Albus looked at his lemon drops, "Severus is going to be a pain, but his Oaths will keep him in line… for now."

Up above him, the portraits of former Headmasters twitched. Albus had developed the 'bad' habit of talking about his plans out loud, and while the dead could advise and did so at times, many felt the Old man was pushing the edge of 'Right and Proper'. One of the more sour faced Wizards quietly stood and slipped from his frame.

121

All of the White Robed students had checked their room's, adjusted their clothing, and Returned to the 'Headmaster's Quarters'. There they met the Elves that would be caring for them; Dobby, Winky, Cuppi and Ticky. Dobby was wearing a faded Gryffindor pillowcase and mismatched socks. Winky was wearing what Crouch had given her. She had tried to throw them off, but Hermione had the Elf to wear them, with pride, as Crouch had given them to her for many years of good service. Cuppi(cup-pee) wore a faded blue pillowcase, and looked like a featherless owl. Ticky wore a toga/ kilt like his Father...Tocky.

"Okay. As your Headmaster…" Black began, " I got nothing. I am going to leave most of the Teaching to Lupin, with the exception of House Law, Dueling, and the Animagus Transformation. Most of your study work is going to be self-study, and if what I hear about Granger…"

"**I would have thought that your GrandFather would have taught you better Security, Boy!"** the empty frame over the fireplace now had a sour faced Wizard with salt and peppered hair, and slate grey eyes.

"Uncle Phiney." Sirius barked as he stood to peer at the former Headmaster. "I would like you to meet my Heir, Harry Potter." Black's hand landed on Harry's shoulder. "My Godson, and third cousin, by way of Dorea Potter, nee Black."

"**Have you taken up the Ring?"**

"No, Sir. GrandFather was alive when they threw me into Azkaban without a trail, though he died soon after. When I escaped, my first thought was the Pup here, then killing the Rat that put me in that cage." Black spit, "For the time being, I am a prisoner here, but this cage is of _My_ choosing."

"**Dum-dum plots against you, and the boy."**

"Luna, sorry to do this, but can you... " Harry turned to the blond.

"Ask, Harry."

"Luna, what is the old bastard plotting against me and mine? How can I stop him?"

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore is planning to regain control of his Weapon, Harry James Potter. Plans include, but not limited to, Blackmail, Charms, and Loyalty Potions. He needs his Weapon to strike down the Dark Lord Riddle, then Die, so He can claim Victory, and live another Century as the Leader of the Light." the blonde's dreamy voice took on an ethereal quality. "Best option to fight back, Listen to Luna Selene Lovegood, Live a long life, and Love many Witches."

Lupin cocked his head to the side as he looked at the little witch.

Phineas Black snorted, "**In the Morning, take the Lad to Gringotts. Dum-dum held many of the meetings for this little game in his Office here. Being chosen for an 'Of Age Only' competition, and being recognized as chosen by so many People of Position, has altered the Lad's standing in our Society."**

"Okay. Moony. You take Harry to Diagon Alley, hit the bank, do some shopping, Be Seen. It is a School Function." Sirius grinned at his raggedy friend, "That means White Robes and everything. I will…"

"See Poppy." Harry spoke softly, "Twelve years in hell, a year and a half on the run. You are getting a check up. You either go on your own, or I will stun you, and tie you to the bed that is normally reserved for me."

The students quickly called it a night.

121

The Morning came cold and blurry.

Harry and Remus walked a sleepy Sirius into Poppy's Domain. While they were wearing their P.I. robes, Black was in his pj's, fuzzy slippers(black dog /grim heads), and bathrobe. A mug of Winky's mocha in hand, he stumbled along as the two in white ghosted at his heels. As he leaned on the door to open it, he noticed something across the Ward.

One of the beds, three from the Matron's Office had a bronze plaque.

**Harry J. Potter**

**was here**

**Bed reserved for him**

Black barked a laugh, and quick stepped to the bed. "You know, I think this was Prong's bed too!" In an act of childishness, he dropped on to the bed, and waited for the Mediwitch.

"Boys." the sturn witch spoke from her office.

"Morning Poppy." Harry grinned at the 'Nurse'. "Black needs a full medical run through. The closest he has had was the care of a _very_ motivated House Elf trying to prove that she is a good elf, caring for her family."

"If you have any students…" Lupin grinned, "Let them use this old dog to test their skills. He is going to be here for a bit. An Alibi if you will."

Poppy raised an eyebrow, "What will you be doing that he needs an alibi?"

"We were hoping to use your Floo." Lupin looked completely angelic, "The cub and I have some business to handle in Diagon Alley. Business old Headmasters might not approve of."

"Go. Bring me a Pint of Fudge Brownie Mint!" the mediwitch called after them. "As for you Mister Black…"

"That's Headmaster Black." padfoot retorted.

"Not when you are in my beds," a flick of her wand had a sticking charm holding him in place. "Lets see what you have here."

121

At the Gryffindor table, the whole Quiditch Team was sitting around whispering about their plans for the season, when Ron stomped up, throwing himself into place by Colin.

"Has Prince Harry said anything about the Team, now that he no longer goes to Hogwarts?" he spewed his vile.

"Oh Ronniekins…" the twins had arrived, the white robes not the best colour for them, but enjoying the message along their shoulders;

**P.I.S.S.O.F.F.**

"Harry will explain everything tonight…"

"... after dinner…"

"...in the Common room." They sat between the chasers, g/b/g/b/g, and begin making their breakfasts.

"So Lord Potter is just going to show up and what? Buy his way back into the Tower? Back onto the Team?" Ron sneared.

Angela paused to look at Ron, just before he stuffed a fistfull of bacon into his gob. "One more comment like that, and I will go to McGonagall and challenge your placement on the team, Captain, Keeper, or even Towel-boy. Get me?"

"Same here"

"Ditto."

Ron huffed, and force fed himself.

121

In the House of Cunning, not all was as calm as it looked.

Malfoy was seething. Black was here. Meaning that Scarhead was in the running for the Black Heirship. 'Father has not been able to secure me the title...I wonder if I will need to take steps.'

Other end of the Table, a blonde and brunette sat whispering with a couple of twins.


	7. Chapter 7

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 7

121

The Pub of Leaky Cauldron, normally calm and quiet in the mornings, was in a minor uproar, this morning, as the Prophet had told the World of Wizarding Britain that not only was Black at Hogwarts, but Potter thought he was Innocent, and had called on him to help in a crunch. Where most of his patrons drank tea or coffee in the mornings, this mornings, Tom was being called to serve Firewhiskey, and hard cider. Those who were drinking Coffee were drinking it heavily Irish(one part coffee/ two parts scotch).

Then the Floo belched, and out stepped two wizards in white robes…

The whole taproom went dead quiet, before erupting into full and true chaos, as wizards and witches tried to mob the youth. The older of the two stepped forward, and growled, causing the massive crowd to pull back. "Lord Potter will talk to the people when he has finished his business with the Bank. We have a busy day, but We will take the time to tell the People the Truth, not the edited spin reported by the Prophet." Shooting a Look at Tom, "Can someone please contact the Quibbler, as by Contract, Lord Potter can only answer questions asked by the Public, for the Public, With the Public, if a rep from the Paper is in attendance." He then plowed through the the crowd toward the back door, Harry following along in his wake.

Once into the Alley proper, they picked up speed, to just short of a jog, as they hit the steps. As they mounted the stepps Lupin looked to the Guards, "When we are done within, we were hoping to use your stepps for a press conference. The Sheep will be gathering shortly." He smiled at the goblins as he drew next to them, "Of course, you are welcome to herd them to the side so they do not block access to the Bank, but still maintain order. Position is first come, first place."

The Goblins grinned back, bossing around Wizards was a favorite past-time among the guards. Tapping a rune, the Commander called for backup…

121

Xeno was scribbling a note about the Rotfang and their work to crush the soul of the People, when a 'Knocking' on the window of the Office caused him to look up. There was Hooter, his Daughter's Barn Owl. Opening the Window, he removed the scroll, his eyes opening as he read the words, Harry Potter, Chosen, and Contracted with Quibbler.

'My Little Moonbeam! She will take us to great lengths.' He chuckles to himself, just as he heard the pounding of steps up the narrow stairs to the front office. He stepped out the back office just as Thom from the Pub up the street popped his head in.

"Oh! Xeno. Potter just went to Gringotts. He is planning to hold a Press Conference on the steps. He needs you there to take questions. As the Prophet will be there if not Skeeter, and Potter's Steward said that you get the First Question."

Xeno grabbed his overcoat, his notepad and a self-inking quill, as he followed the Barkeep down the steps, "I will get you a free copy for this tip." the Blond eyesore grinned at the Barkeep, as he turned to jog to the Bank. Already a small group were queuing up, being herded by the Goblins to form an orderly pack.

Xeno stepped up, ran his eyes over the shoulder piece that depicted the rank of those who knew how to read them, "My good Goblin. I was told that this group was for the Potter Press Conference. Am I in the right place?"

The Goblin snorted an affirmative.

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions while we wait?" Xeno was bringing his pad and quill into play.

The goblin grunted.

"Now, I know you can not or will not speak of Business handled behind your golden doors, but I was hoping for a few words on Master Potter's baring, Your impression of the young man."

The goblin grunted, before dragging his beady eyes over the gathering crowd. He then sneered a goblin smile, "Young Warrior brings much enjoyment to us. Last year he ran about the alley, as if it was his backyard. This Year, he gets invited to show his steel against those who think they his betters. We even have a betting pool as to who will fall in his wake and when." He shifted the pike to his other hand, "I personally have three gold and a dagger bet that he gutts the pink cave-toad before the new year."

Xeno blinked as looked up from his notes, "Politically, or…?"

The Goblin just grinned.

Xeno nodded, "Politically would hurt her more, but…" he made a note. He turned to the housewife of a witch on the other side of him…

121

Lupin and Potter cued up, and were quickly before a teller.

"Next!"

"Ah, MasterTeller." Lupin nodded at the smaller non-human. 'Respectful, Polite, but never Prey!' Lupin twitched his Robes, "Mister Potter is here to see Barchoke and Ashrack, as soon as they are available."

The Goblin peered over the small wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose. "He is?"

Harry nodded at the Goblin. [Greetings Keeper of the Horde. I seek to do battle in the way of Profit. May your coffers overflow.]

The Goblin's eyes widened, [You speak?]

[As a Child, Keeper. My Seer has taught me the basics.] Harry bobbed his head, but never broke eye contact.

"Await over there." The Goblin flicked his long fingers at a bench next to the inner doors. "Next!"

[May your foes wet themselves at the whisper of your name.] Harry led the way to the bench.

"When did you…?" Lupin asked as he followed his cub to the bench.

"Luna taught me. I speak as a child, but no Pureblood Wizard will be able to know what I am saying. Remember when I wrote to you and Padfoot, I told you this Prank was going to be big. We had two months, and many reasons to for this to hit and Hit big." He perched on the molded stone.

Lupin had barely dropped onto the bench, Griphook appeared at their elbow. "This way." As the older wizard leveraged himself to his feet, Harry grinned, [Griphook, May Profit fall upon you. How do you fare?]

[You speak?] the young(ish) goblin blinked, [Doing well, for a envoy third class.] He cocked his head at the lad, [Word from the Vents say that you are in the big Games at Hogwarts.] As he turned and led them back to the Offices.

[I have that honor.] Harry easily kept pace with the Smaller being, [An honor I would rather have avoided.] He looked at the Wolf-man at his heel, before a Grin showing many teeth spread over his face. [Of course, any retelling of the Wisdom from the Vents, would indebt me to the Whisperer. I would of course keep any confidence my… Advisor were to share.]

[Nothing that has to do with Bank Business.]

[Of course not. Though I might ask for advice on House Potter or Black behalf, but never to reveal Bank or Horde secrets. A share of the Profits, of course, would go the one who bridged the crevice between my Houses, and any ...Opportunity.]

The Goblin's ears twitched as did his nose. "One will remember. We are here. Manager Barchoke, keeper of House Potter Accounts. Ashrack will be along shortly, as soon as You have dealt with what is needed." He bowed his head to Harry, "Milord." He knocked on the door, and was gone.

"Come." a gravelly voice barked from behind the door.

As the two Wizards pushed the door, they noticed that the office behind was lined with rich tapestry depicting battle scenes. But in all of them, a certain banner flew over the Goblin-Human/wizard army, a House Flag that invoked a deep feeling in Harry's chest. Completely missing the Shaven headed Goblin behind the Desk, His back to the one wall not covered with woven battle scenes, instead he had a selection of Goblin weapons.

"Ah, Milord Potter." the Bald Goblin, grinned his snaggled smile at the lad, "I see you looking at the House Banner. Yes, Everytime we Goblins have marched into battle, House Potter has had our backs. Even when we took up arms with the Ministry, Potter supported us, and never took up wands against us."

Harry turned to the Manager, "All this history, and I knew none of it." He frowned, [We will have to change that.]

The Goblin's grin turned nasty, [That we will.] He pulled a folder from under the desk, "Let's begin. Heir Potter, are you here to claim your Ring?"

"Yes, Sir."

A ring box of white oak appeared on the desk. It offered a simple steel band holding a pea of a ruby. At the adults urging, Harry slid it on, and a wave of magic washed over him. A quill on the desk scratched out a few words. The Goblin read them, grunted, and looked at the boy.

"Heir Potter, Are you REady to take up the Mantle of Head of Potter?"

"Yes Sir."

The Ring morphed, becoming a wide Steel Band with a full carat Ruby. Inside the Ruby was the Sigil that was flying on the Banner in the Tapestries behind him. This time when the wave of magic washed over him, it rippled and ripped the veris wards and bindings off the Lad. Harry ended up on his knees as his mind and Magic soared.

121

In the headmaster's office, Ten of the Twelve silver devices on a shelf that could be seen from almost everywhere in the room, stopped, froze, screamed, and then exploded. One piece of shrapnel pierced Fawks' chest, causing him to conflagrate into a pile of ashes and a chick. The Last two were tied to the boy's blood as a Potter, and so survived the shift of their targets change of status.

121

In Surrey, a squib was out shopping for her 'Cats' when she saw a red flair and the sound of breaking glass. Her old, but quickened footsteps brought her to #4 Privet Dr. 'Merlin Boy! What Have you done this time?' She shuffled home, dropping her bag of tinned cat food on the Sofa, as she hurried to the Floo.

The Headmaster had to know!

121

"Now that was a Lorry!" the Boy struggled to his feet, before settling back into a chair before the desk.

"Well Whelp, you have just broken twenty binding, charms, and wards that were woven into your blood." The Goblin sneered, "You just have two 'blood tracers', a 'Mother's Love', and a 'Blood Taint' left to deal with. I would leave the 'Mother's Love' alone, as that has your mother's magical signature, and to remove it will be a pain. The 'Blood tracers' will fall when you take the Black ring." He frowned at his sheet, "Now this 'Blood Taint', where did you come across…" the glasses fell from his nose, as his eyes bugged out. "Basilisk Venom, near on a Millennium old? And Phoenix Tears?"

"May before Last." Harry sighed, "Tom Riddle got a Diary of his that he had ensouled, into the Possession of a friend of mine, and the Soul Fragment tried to take her over. One thing it tried to do was release Slytherin's Beast from the Chamber of Secrets. I ended up killing it, driving my sword through it's mouth into the brain." he pushed up the sleeve of his robe, to show the circle scar. "She caught me with a fang as she died. I would have joined her on the cold floor, if the Headmaster's Bird had not cried into the wound."

The Goblin and Wolf blinked...twice. "Just out of curiosity, What sword did you use?" the Goblin had lost his smile.

"Um… the Sword of Godric Gryffindor." Harry blinked back, thinking of the ruby studded hilt of the Silver Steel Sword, and the Blade bloomed in his hand. "Where did you come from?" Harry asked the Blade as he brought it up.

"Ah, cub?" Lupin was worried about naked steel in front of a Goblin…

"My Lord. Careful with that. It is a Goblin Crafted Blade. Now most Goblin Crafted items are considered property of the Smith and his Clan." Goblin smiled, not showing as much teeth, "When an item is 'sold' it is more of a long term lease then a true purchase. Now My ancestor forged that blade, for your Ancestor Godric. The Blood ties are not direct, but the Lines are straight. Now normally I would Ask or Demand that the Blade be returned, but Godric wove his magic into the Blade. It will always appear when one of his descendants needed it. With your Kill of the Beast, I can not claim it, until your Death. Be warned, Do Not Let that Blade out of your Possession."

"What is the Big…"

"Harry," Lupin spoke softly, "Goblin Steel, especially their swords, have a nasty habit of… acquiring traits that would destroy lesser weapons. You said you punched up through the roof of the Snakes mouth… like where it's venom glands were?" At the boy's nod, "So, it is possible that your sword now is embedded with the venom of a Millennium old Basilisk. Plus whatever magic and spells that were cast upon it during Forging, and during Godric's Lifespan."

Harry very carefully placed the sword on the desk. "Looks like I am going to need a sheath for it, if I am going to keep it out of the Vault. Dumbledor had it in his office, until just now, so…"

[NEVER LET THAT BEARDED RAT ANYWHERE NEAR IT AGAIN!] the Goblin seathed from his chair. "The Headmaster has been draining your Trust Vault to all but the last knut, every year since your parents died, on the day before it was due to refill." The Potter Account Manager pounded his fist on the desk, "I was powerless to stop him, as he had a Power of the Ministry Decree naming him your Guardian."

"NO!" Lupin gasped.

"Yes!" the Goblin hissed back, "Black was sentenced to Life in Hell, you had signed away your rights by blood quill, the Longbottoms were as good as dead, and the Tonks… Never mind about them." the Goblin breathed deep. "The Old Goat, tried to push a marriage contract for a miss Weasley through, and on the power of that Contract, her Mother has been using your Trust Vault to pay for Schooling and supplies of her two youngest, and Mifflering away a cool three hundred gold each fall."

"Molly Weasley?" Lupin gasped.

"But all that changes today!" the Goblin sneered. "Lord Potter, with the Taking of your Lordship, All Potter Accounts are locked down. Your copy of your Father's Will." A scroll of Vellum was pushed into his hands. "Read it at your Leisure, Next Week, We will be having a Reading."

Harry had opened the scroll and had scanned it. One entry had caught his eye. "Sir. Can you send a portkey invite to _each and every one_ listed in the will? I would also like to invite Fudge and Bones to the Reading, but only Fudge and Bones."

"Harry?" Remus asked.

"Not now Moony."

The Goblin's chin tucked in, as a sneer grew on his face. "I will also ask Bones to bring a few of her most trusted Aurors, if you will Allow."

"Okay. But check _Everybody _for the Dark Mark. I think we should only have two, but they are named in the Wills."

The Adults raised an eyebrow. "Your Mother's will." a second scroll was pasted to the lad, who again, scanned it, and nodded.

"Yep, Snape is invited too."

"How did you know he was Marked?" Lupin asked.

"My Father's cloak after dark." Harry grinned at the Marauder. "You Learn a lot of things when no one knows you are in the Room with them." Turning back to the Goblin, only two people should be marked. If more are, hold them. My Seer has warned me that the Darkness is rising again. I will of course cover the cost of the Portkeys, if that is needed, but Once anybody arrives, they can not leave until the Readings are done." His grin matched his Account Manager's, "If this falls the way I am planing, Padfoot will be cleared by the New Year. If not, We will find some other Fun." He Blinked, "Sir… My Dear Barchoke, Can you file to reclaim all monies taken 'Unlawfully' from my account? Plus Interest and penalties, of course. Dum-Dum and Prewitt never had the rights to touch my accounts. Do not touch the Weasley Family, as it was just Molly." He stood to lean on the desk. "Infact, Invite the Twins to the Reading. Lord Potter has a Business … opportunity to discuss with them."

The Goblin scribbled a note on his blotter, "Done. Now, step two, Marriage Contracts." the Goblin replaced his spectacles on his nose, "House has a Total of Eighteen, Five are with itself, so until your House has split for three generations, they are to be ignored. Four more are to 'Dead Houses' and until a squib line returns to claim the Title and Ring, they too are ignore. Six are for House Potter Witches, and so they are off set another generation. That leaves three open before you. House Greengrass is asking for a House Continuation clause rather than a full Marriage, as the Head only has two Daughters, and the Eldest is learning the Family business." The Goblin looked at the young Lord. "Now the Contract is for a Marriage, but the Consort-Continuation will settle the Contract terms for five generations." He set the Top page to the side, "Next you have Bones." The Goblin looked at the Lad, "Now they have not entered a plea for Line Continuation, but as the Heiress is the only one of her Line…" The sheet was added to the new pile. "And Finally, we have Lovegood, and this one was written by the Lady of the Line, five Generations back, and it is only Line Continuation."

"Which means exactly what?" Harry collapsed back into his chair.

"If you take all three contracts, as written here, you have two Consorts, and a wife. But Bones, will need the consort option to continue her Line, so you will need to Find a Lady Potter, and odds are, a Lady Black."

Lupin whistled, "Five girls." he shook his head, "Prongs and Padfoot would be so proud of you, with Lily glaring at them. Now I just pity you, Five Witches running roughshod over you and every mistake you make."

"Not all is Lost." the Goblin smiled evilly at the Lordling. "You can try to buy a 'Skip', from these Houses. But with the Last War, and if what you said is true, the Coming War, They will want protection from the Darker Houses in their Game of Bloodlines."

Harry sighed. "Send Notices to each of the Witches, and their Guardians. I will see them after the Reading. I will also want their input on a Possible Lady Potter and Black." he froze, "What about…"

"Your other Houses, both willed to you personally, and inherited down the line are too interwoven at this time. Houses Gryffindor, Prevel, Sanders, Smit, and O'Roark will be for your heirs to sort out. Slytherin is yours by Conquest, and only if you do nothing with it, will it be passed to your heirs. You can gift it to a halfblood or new blood, to repay a Life Debt, or Blood Debt." he returned the papers to the Folder, and turned to the next section. "Step three. Your Proxies. Dumbledor holds them for the Time being, as by Guardian Writ. I can over turn them, and replace him with a person of your choosing."

Harry blinked, before a grin returned to his face. "Do you by chance know a Goblin who is well versed in Wizard, Muggle, and Goblin Law. Someone who likes to argue and nitpick the very fabric of What is Accepted by Society?"

Barchoke choked. "I do." he then grinned, "And he is a Revil of mine, since we were whelps. Then only thing Gripsack enjoys more than spitting on me, both Professionally and personally, is spitting on Wizards." He tapped a rune carved and filled on his desk. [Get me Gripsack, Twist, and Pullette(pronounced; pull-it).] Before scribbling out a form, and pushing towards Harry, along with a black Raven quill. "A Blood-quill. A bit painful, but binding of Magic the Contract."

Harry read it quickly before taking up the Quill, and signing where indicated.

A scratching at the door preceded it opening as a grizzled Goblin entered followed by a Witch with a set of glasses perched on her nose, and a Wizard, though young, was balding. "You sent for us, you 'gold shaver'?"

"Yes, Gripsack." Barchoke turned the Proxy Contract towards the newcomer. "You have just been named Proxy to the Entire House Potter Voting Block. I will be advising Lord Potter to keep House Black out of your Claws, as that would upset more than _just a few_ Wizards."

Harry cleared his throat, "My requests are simple." He grinned, "For the next year, Free Lord Black, repeal the Werewolf Laws, and make way for the Goblin Rights movement. Next year, I will be pushing to include Centaurs, and House Elf Protections." He locked eyes with the Goblin Barrister, "Can you do that? Or shall I find someone...Younger?"

The old Law-Goblin glared back, "Whelp! If you were not…" He scanned the Contract, before Grinning, "I will even do this for Free, if I may push my own Agenda."

"As Long as it does not go against the Interests of House Potter and her Allies." He grinned back, "All the other Houses… B.Y.O.B.! Black included."

The Bald wizard asked, "B.Y.O.B.?"

Moony just facepalmed, "Bring Your Own Barrel." the Werewolf sighed.

The Goblins roared at that, before Gripsack grabbed the blood quill and X'ed his spot. "Done Whelp." He then turned and waddled out, barking orders to his Humans.

"Step Four," a now subdued Barchoke turned to another section of his folder. "The Accounts themselves. You have The House Potter Prime Account and Vault, Harry Potter's Trust Vault, the 'Boy-Who-Lived' Vault, and the Artifacts and Relics Vault. Other House Vaults I am holding locked down until you turn Seventeen. They are like throwing a bucket of piss into the Ocean."

"Before you do that, How much is in House...Smit?" Harry asked

Barchoke flipped through his papers of a bit, "Just under Two Thousand Gold, some books, and Heirlooms." He looked at the Boy. "Why?"

"Pull the Heirlooms, move them to the Relics' Vault, and pass the Books and coin to one Hermione Granger. A New Blood that has helped me these last three years, for no other reason, than I called her a Friend." Harry, nodded, "The Gold Must Flow." Quoting a Line from a Movie, he had once heard from his Cupboard.

"The Gold must Flow." the Goblin repeated, as he made another note. "The Potter Trust Vault is no longer needed as you have taken the Head ring."

"Pull all but Thirty Sickles." Harry smiled, "When Albus or Molly try to raid it again, Take them."

"Thirty Sickles?" the Goblin asked.

"Judas was paid Thirty Silver to betray Christ." Lupin said sadly. "It is a mark of Betrayal in Muggle Society."

"Okay, you learn something everyday." the Goblin scratched a note on the page. "Now the rest?"

"You Know my investments better than I do, or even will." Harry smiled at the Goblin. "Take Twenty percent of my Gross balance. Invest it as You think I should. Take three percent of the Profits, but if you Lose me money, you will pay me three percent. Deal?"

"Three Percent?" the Goblin scowled at the Lordling, "Are you insulting me?"

"No Sir. the Three Percent does not include any Fees, Dues, and taxes, paid to you and the Bank for Business transacted within these Walls. It is meant as an incentive to increase my Profifts, three and ten fold." He looked the Goblin in the Eye, "For You to Profit, I must Profit. You could just sit on my Gold, taking your Due, which if I am guessing from the size of the Folder," he waved his hand at the leather binding between them, "A thrifty Goblin could live out his days, quite comfortability. And so could I, But I am Potter, Harold James! If I am going to do anything, I Am going to Profit by doing it, and as My Manager…"

"So shall I." the Goblin's mouth twisted in thought, "I will write up a few ideas, and get back to you next week." He Turned to the next section, "Step Five, Properties."

"Yes. Most of that will be next week too." Harry chuckled, "I am told among the many, I have an island this Side of the Triangle, and something in Greenland. I need them inspected, warded, and My School Emblem posted at the front Gate. I will need a triple Rush Job, and I am requesting one William Weasley to lead the Teams."

"Oh?" the Goblin looked at the Robe his 'Boss' was wearing. Before nodding, scribbling another note. "Done. That Leaves House Black."


	8. Chapter 8

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 8

[Translated]

$parseltongue$

121

"_Done. That Leaves House Black."_

A knocking on the Door, as it opened and a Oiled Haired Goblin in a Emerald Green silk suit with a double breasted coat entered. [Ah, Barchoke, How is Heir Potter doing today?]

[Ashrack. We just finished House Potter accounts, and were ready to send for you.] Barchoke closed the Folder, and set it under his desk. [Did you Bring the whole File, or just for Heir Black?]

[The Full File.] the green garbed goblin grinned, [Lord Black has instructed me that he wished to Pass the Headship on to his Heir, once the whelp has taken up his ring.]

"That Dog!" Harry roared, startling the adults. "He had better be sick in bed, when We get back, or I will be sending him to Poppy for an extended stay!" the young lord snarled.

"Cub?" the Werewolf asked.

"Padfoot is passing Black to me, just as soon as I take the Ring." the lad's face was a twisted sneer, "It was bad enough that He was making me Take up the Ring, just to relieve the pressure of his producing an Heir of his own… but to duck out completely?"

"How did you know what we were talking about?" the Verdant Vested Varlet inquired.

"My Seer, one Luna Lovegood, advised that I know the 'Banker's Tongue' and we spent the last two months learning." Harry collapsed, yet again into his Chair. "My speech is that of a Child, but my understanding… is good enough to know that my Dogfather is so going to be threatened with a Neutering."

Moony snorted, as he tried to contain his laughter.

121

Black was downing a Potion, most vile, when he felt a sudden chill. 'Pup must have just learned of my latest Gift to him.'

121

Corban Yaxley glided silently along the halls of the Detention Block of the Ministry. A tap of his wand, caused the door to the cell slide open.

The Witch in the cell snarled, "What took you so long?"

"I had to wait until Bones was Busy with her other duties." the Master Auror sneered back. "What did you do that caused her to toss you in here?"

"My Job." the Witch stood, and swept past the wizard, "Assemble a Squad. I know where Black is. Summon a Dementor."

"No can do." The magical cop smiled at the Toad faced witch. "Everybody, is busy with Bones' orders. The only reason that you were not bound to a chair, and pumped full of veritaserum, is that Bones is too busy hunting down Black's transcripts." He followed her to the lifts, "Oh, Word has trickled down to us, that Potter and the Wolf are at the Bank. We can deal with Black, once his support System is … gone."

The Toad froze. "And just what do you suggest we do about it?" she punched the Button to call the cage.

"Not WE." the Auror handed the woman her wand. "You. There is concern that you are not able to follow through with some of your … tasks. The Faction has asked that you prove your devotion to the Cause. Are you going to allow a Wolf to disrespect Our way of Life?" He grinned as the cage opened behind her. "Handle the boy and his watcher, then we can … talk about removing Black." he turned and walked into the shadows.

"Only Good Wolf," the toad face witch stepped into the lift, "is a dead Wolf."

121

The Headmaster's Office.

The Old Wizard looked about at the mess, he found. He had just finished a delightful Breakfast.

[flashback]

Watched the Malfoy Heir pass out Buttons to half of the School, and his Agent bad mouth the Potter Boy. The White Robed students hexed the Weasley scion, bought two badges, and talked to Heir Longbottom, Granger, and Jordan. When the Bell sounded for Classes, the Twins followed the blond girl out, and up to the Medical ward, as the Rest of the Student body marched off to their classes.

"Heady Whiskers." An Elf stood at his elbow, "Office damaged. Bird dead. WEs need you to advise on clean up."

Albus sighed as he climbed to his feet, and began the long walk to his office.

[flashback end]

The 'Potter' Shelf was all but empty, as only the 'Blood Tracker' and the "Blood Reader' were still in play, let alone working. His Familiar was now a chick, and crying it's destress over it's unexpected rebirth. All about the room bits and pieces of silver slag Shrapnel sprayed about and skewered much of his surroundings. Now and forever useless, they were.

"Gather the silver pieces. Repair what you can, I will take care of the rest." The old man sighed, as he moved to his chair, only to freeze as a cooing arose from the 'Tracker' as the 'Reader' whistled. He spun to stare, as the Mithral devices began to melt. 'Merlin Boy, What have you done?' he waved a hand at the elf, "Avoid the melting metal at this time. I fear it will harm your magic…"

The Floo behind him bloomed green, as the Squib from Surrey stumbled out. "Headmaster! The Wards on #4 crashed…" she panted out, "Shattered is closer to what really happened."

Turning to the Elf at his knee, "And just where is Mister Potter?"

The Elf frowned, "Not on the Castle. Last seen, Medical Ward. Walking Doggy and Wolfy."

Albus grunted, and stumbled to his chair. 'This just got worse…'

121

Bones's Office.

She was looking at the slim folder in front of her. She cast her mind back over the last forty-eight hours.

[Flashback]

10/30/94

She had just gotten a note from her niece;

Aunty,

I fear something fishy is going down. Potter has been acting strange these last two weeks. I have told you how everytime in the last three years I tried to talk to him, his watchdog, Weasley would chase me off. I do believe that he has no idea what is going on, but rumors have reached my ears that little Ginny might be angling for a outside contract.

These last two months, the only time Potter and Weasley are truly together, is during Quiditch Practice. As you know, at the beginning of the Year, Quidditch had been canceled. Potter tricked Malfoy into writing to his Father to reinstate the season. Potter was named Team Captain, and put the Team through their paces. Diggory is happy that he gets to go out Playing.

But as of Today, I caught Potter whispering, with Lovegood and Granger, about something big. I heard the name Black in passing, and the way they were talking, it is going down All Hallows Eve.

The Weasley Twins are not up their usual games. Infact, if I did know better, I would think that they are trying to out Perfect Prefect their older Brother, who graduated last year. It is a bit funny to watch them shepherding their firsties around. They are always helping the younger years with Classes, Homework, and general School life. Because they are doing the Prefect thing, no Pranks have been played on the school. Snape is getting a bit twitchy, as Flitwick and Sprout are enjoying the Calm that they say is before the Storm. A Storm, that the 'Seers' say is going to hit on the night of the 31st. Potter's Luck will see to it.

I thought that with Tournament in play, You and Shacklebolt might want to be here to keep things quiet… as they can be during Halloween with Potter here.

Love,

Sue.

Amelia Bones wrote out the orders for a squad aurors to accompany her to Hogwarts the next night. She asked that Kingsley be able to join her as her personal detail.

[the night of the 31st]

_Suddenly the flames resurged from the cup, Hellish Crimson shading and foreshadowing the Death awaiting those chosen. A scrap of parchment fluttered down for Albus to catch._

"_For Durmstrang, Victor Krum!"_

"_Heavily chosen, Those who bet for Krum, get only double." Fred called out, as George marked the Board, their Hogwarts cloaks pulled tight about them._

_Krum stood from the Slytherin table, and strode to the ante room off the Head table…_

_A second red flare, a second scrap of parchment fluttered into the headmaster's grasp._

"_For Beauxbatons, Fleur DeLacour!"_

"_Not as heavily favored, as most of us who knew her, were left agog at her beauty. The payout is triple." a few cheers went up, mostly younger students._

_The walking sex dream stood and drifted after Krum._

_And the Third flare… the Last slip of parchment…_

"_Hogwarts… Cedric Diggory!"_

_As the pretty boy stood and waited for the twins…_

"_Heavily favored, double what was bet on either of his fellow chosen… tied with our Dear Angela… second only to…" Fred looked at Albus "Harry Potter."_

Director Bones snorted, as did Kingsley.

_When the Goblet flared a fourth time._

_Everyone froze. Albus barely caught the slip in time…_

_Then the goblet truly died out, and the Candles around the Hall flaired to life._

"_Harry Potter!"_

Bones drew her wand, Sue had said something about something going down tonight, and it looked like she was on her game.

_Harry stood, having sat with his back to the Center isle, so he now was the center of attention, at the center of the Hall. Raising his wand in his right hand, "I, Harry James Potter, do by swear on my Magic, I did not enter, nor ask anyone to enter my name for selection, by my will, so mote it be." a flare of Azure, flashed as Magic sealed the Oath, _'_**Expecto Patronum'**_

_A silver Stag burst from his wand, flinging it's biblical rack in the air, as it pranced about the Hall. As it stepped before it's Caster, it bowed it's head, before raring on it's hind legs… and exploding. In its place stood a skeletal horse with batlike wings. This new form 'nuzzled' Potter, before fading away._

"_Seeing as I did not enter, Do I have to compete?" Harry asked the Hall at Large._

"_The Goblet chose you." Barty Crouch spoke up. "You are a Champion."_

"_Now just a bloody minute here!" Igor Karkaroff bellowed, "How does Hogwarts get two Champions?"_

"_She doesn't." Harry before the other Adults. "Headmistress McGonagall, I have bad news, I am afraid. I was warned that this might happen, and so I took steps." Harry approached the Head Table, pulling a pack of forms from inside his Cloak. "This is my notice that I am no longer a student of Hogwarts, as the Rules clearly state 'One Champion per School'. He handed her the folded parchment. Once it was in her Hand, he shrugged off the black cloak, revealing his white robes, the snowy owl perched on a crystal ball, surrounded by the words_

_**POTTER INSTITUTE of SPELLS AND SORCERY**_

_**OCCULTISM FAMILIARS and FOCI**_

_Of course the back of his robes got a Roar from the Table of the Brave, a Gasp from the Table of the Loyal, a snort from the Table of the Curious, and a hiss from the 'Cunning'_

**P.I.S.S. O.F.F**.

_Pulling the next packet from his pocket, "Now Headmistress, My School will be needing accommodations. I was told that the old 'Lord's Wing' will do, There are only three… no, there are four of us tonight."_

"_Harry, My boy…" Albus closed on Harry's left hand side, "...you are talking nonsense. You will of course remain with your housemates in the tower."_

"_Albus, my host…" Harry grinned at the Headmaster, as the old wizard flinched at the greeting. "Would love to, but the Student rulebook states that only members of a House may stay in said House without permission of the Headmaster."_

"_And I am giving it to you." Albus was Piety itself._

"_Ah, yes, but You are no longer my Headmaster." _The boy was on a roll. She remembered when the Lad's father ran these Halls...

"_And just who is…" Albus was interrupted by the Great Hall Doors being flung open, as Sirius Black and Remus Lupin strutted into the Great Hall._

"_BLACK!_

Kingsley choked on his laughter, as he fumbled for his Wand.

John was quick on the draw, as was the rest of the Squad.

"_That is Headmaster Black to you!" the fugitive grinned as he picked at his Robes, before frowning and turning to Lupin, "Did we have to wear these, they do nothing for my complection."_

"_Only during Ceremonial occasions." Lupin slouched two feet away, hands in his pockets. "You can take them off when we get to our rooms. And only put them on, for Official Potter Institute Business."_

"_Okay." Looking about, his grin never leaving his face, "So, is this the Word of the Great Albus W.P.B. Dumbledor is worth, now?" He held his hands up, empty, "I was under the impression that Headmasters were Asylumed until the Turny was complete."_

"_Properly accredited Headmasters." Director Bones hissed, as she had moved to next to the number one most wanted wizard in Britain._

"_Ah, that is if I was a teacher." Black swung his hands to behind his back, "As an administer of the School, and Friend of the School's Founder, James Potter, I just have to prove that the books are in order...to our Government." He turned his roguish smile on Bones, "Now Ami, I know I was a bad dog, leaving our date like that, but I thought you atleast would ask questions before firing curses at me, or are you part of my assassination plan?"_

"_There is no Assassination Plan!" screamed Umbridge, "Just good people trying to protect Society from the likes of you!" _

"_What did he do?" Harry asked, "What did he do, that warranted him being denied a trial, and sent to that Hellhole?" Turning to glare at Bones, "Have You found anything?"_

The Director shook her head, 'But then I have been blocked by Fudge, Umbridge, and Dumbledor!' she grinned interially, as her face turned to stone, 'Now I have reason to ignore Their 'Requests' to drop it, and bring my full power into Play.'

_Harry pulled a scroll from otherside inside pocket. Handing it to Bones. "Potter Institute is a real school, with two campuses, one this side of the Triangle, and one in Greenland. While listening to Lupin talk about my Father, I noticed that He and the Headmaster taught many of the underclassmen about things most Wizards take for granted. Things that I knew nothing about until my third year." Harry shrugged, "besides, due to a meddling old fool, I can not even access my House Accounts until I am of age."_

Bones unrolled the scroll, to see that notes were taken, confessing that while he had no idea if what he was saying, everything else he was told had come true, so should the Estates for his school. All would be in place by the weighing of the wands, and that Potter had hoped that she would be there for that too. 'McGonagall knows more than she is saying. Is her Silence out of Loyalty or Coercion. Please find out.' HJPotter.

"_So how do you have…" Fudge began to ask._

"_Inheritances from old men, Willing them to me, to avoid them going to Family or the Ministry." Harry pulled a pockwatch from his pocket, _Ami noticed that it had a very distinct crest, A triangle, around a circle, bisected with a line. The Mark of the Hallows, a Crest of a Dead House, and the Banner of a former Dark Lord. "_I even hold the line to six noble Houses, just to keep them from those who would abuse them._

"_Aurors, stand down." Bones sheathed her wand, "Headmaster Black, you are bound by Law and Magic, to remain on Hogwarts Grounds, any attempt to leave, breaks your Sanctuary, but I ask that you Defend this Castle as you would your Institute." _The rogue nodded, slight, but it was there for those who knew him

"_No!" Umbridge snarled, "Kill him and the bloody wolf. We do not need their kind here!" Her pudgy fist pounding the table, "Remove them and their abominations from our…"_

'_**Stupify.'**_ _The squeaky voice of the Charms Master cut off the Pink Horror. "Sorry, but Hogwarts Sanctuary is above Ministry Law, and given the … woman's views, something had to give."_

"_Noted." Bones smirked, "Dawlish, escort the Undersecitaury back to the Ministry. Room three, I believe. Her reactions to Black, and this 'Assassination Plan' sits wrong in my craw." Turning to look at Dawlish, "Oh, and John, if she is not there when I get there, you will face my ...displeasure."_

"_Now see here!" Fudge moved to defend his minion… until the glare Bones' Eye turned in his direction._

"_Now, Minster, you would not be interfering with a DMLE investigation, would you?" Her face was like carved stone, _hiding the grin fighting to show itself. "_That would put you in the chair next to her…"_

"_Not at this time." Fudge backed away._

'Next time then.' the Director of Law Enforcement thought to herself, 'I have your Toad, and she will squeal just to save her wrinkled arse.'

As the Lad was led from the Hall, Albus quickly called everyone to order, and sent the Students to their dorms, before inviting the Ministry Staff and Headmasters to his office. As she Followed the Huge Headmistress from Beauxbatons, she thought about how hard it would be to convince Sue and Hannah to change schools. She knew that she would have to include Hannah if there was any chance of her niece leaving these Haunted Halls.

In the Headmaster's Office, the former Hit-witch was warming her bones by the Fire, when; _The Door blew open as McGonagall stormed in, Completely ignoring the others, as she stomped to the Desk. "What the Hell is Harry Potter doing, Contacting Black for this Plan of his? Lupin I understand, they bonded over the last year, But Black? You said that Black Betrayed James and Lily, and while I did not believe it possible, I trusted You! Like I trusted you that the bairn would be safe at his Muggle Aunt's…"_

"_Potter is With Petunia?" Snape Roared. "You said he was…" The Potion Master cut off suddenly. "I will no longer be your Bludger. Do your own dirty work." He hissed before he stormed from the Room._

"_What was that about?" Fudge asked, confused._

"_Just Owls coming home to roost." Snarled McGonagall, "For Years Albus has telling everyone that Potter was being well cared for, but in truth, the Boy has been treated like a House Elf in the care of some of our Darker Houses." She drew herself to her full height, "If it would not leave the Students at your mercy, small that it is, I would follow the boy right out of Hogwarts. One more gross misstep, I will bring charges to the Board that not only are you Not fulfilling your Duties to the School, but you are actively endangering the Students!" here the pissed Scot turned and mimicked her younger colleague, storming from the office. "We are Not done with this, but I need to go, or I will hex you until you are completely useless!"_

"_Minnie, wait up." Bones was right on her tail. _ As the office door boomed shut behind her, the stairs delivered her into the presence of her detail, King and Tonks, as she hurried after the Deputy Headmistress. Not surprising that they ended up in the Witch's Office where the Woman was pouring two glasses half full of her 'home-brew' from a clay jar. As Bones entered, the Scot handed her one of the glasses, before waving to a chair.

"So, Minnie. What can you tell me?"

Minerva sighed, "It all started thirteen years ago, tonight. I was asked to watch over a house in Surrey, no real idea why, but Albus asked, and so I spent the day lounging on the brick wall between the targeted house, and the next. Just after sun down, revelers were out and about, waving wands, firing off sparklers and noise makers. Seeing as Muggles have items that can do the same, I just crouched down, and ignored them. The Family I was watching was of three, the Husband was heavier, with a full mustache, that I knew I had seen before, just no idea where. The Wife too was somewhat familiar to me. The Child, just over a year old, was massive, spoiled, and I dreaded what was to become of him."

She sipped her drink, "Just about Midnight, Albus showed up, Darkened the whole street, and approached the house. I quickly headed him off, just as Hagrid dropped from the sky on that Bike of Blacks." she smiled at Bones, "You know the one I mean, you were on the back of it more often than a Broom those last few years."

Ami snorted, "What ever happened to it?"

"I think Hagrid has it." the Witch looked into the fire as she picked up the story, "Albus left the wee bairn on the stoop like a bottle of milk, with naught but a warming charm, and a note. No Matter what I said, he waved off my concerns, patted Hagrid on the back, and faded into the night. I stayed to watch the child through the night, but that was all I could do. I fear that I was bound by charm or Oath." Looking back at the younger witch, "Over the years, I went back, and watched, but was unable to do anything." Taking up her quill, she scratched out an address, "Have one of your half-bloods check out this house, and you will see what I mean. I also asked the Headmaster how the laddy was doing, and all I got was 'He's doing fine.' And I know for a fact that he never went back to that place, but he did send a squib to watch over the boy from a far."

[flashback end]

The night ended after few more glasses, the Director handed off the slip of parchment to King, and called it a night. This morning she allowed Umbridge to be put in a cell, as the department was busy running down leads on Black's case file (not finding it,) Potter's Home life, (Wishing they had not found it) and routing through every scrap of paper that Umbridge had touched since she came to work for the Ministry.


	9. Chapter 9

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 9

ISDH

121

"Tell me Good Sir," the brightly coloured coat caught the codger by surprize, "Can you give me your impression of the young man?"

"Mister Potter?" the younger wizard blinked, either from his mind focusing on the question, or his eyes trying to clear the image of Xeno in the direct sun from his vision… "I was in my Seventh Year, his first year, and while he did not seek out trouble, he sure was easy for it to find him. He ruined our chances at both cups, first with his flying skill, youngest seeker in a century you know, then over a hundred points just before the Leaving Feast." He turned to look at the bank, "Both my Head of House and the whiney ponce who thought he owned the place whinged about him, but he dealt fair with everyone who delt fair with him."

"And what is your opinion of his being entered into the Triwizard ?"

"He swore that he did not enter, nor ask to be entered. I believe him." the Half blood wizard smirked at Xeno, "That said, I do believe that he has the best chance to win, not because he is the 'BWL' but because he is so young, the others are going to underestimate him, and lose."

"Good. Thank you. Do you want your name on this? Or just 'Random Wizard'?"

"Sanders. Pavel Sanders." the wizard grinned, as he turned back to the doors.

Just as the Doors opened and out stepped two Wizards in white robes with an Owl on the Left breast patch. The crowd surged forward, only to be repulsed by the goblin guards. The younger of the two stepped forward, raising his hands for silence. The crowd, like the sheep they were, quickly obeyed.

"Yes, I have taken up my Ring." the Lad's voice carried over the Alley, "At this time that is all I am going to say on the Matter, as the rest is House Business, and we all know what happens when outsiders go poking around House Business." a small chuckle passed through the crowd. "Yes, I was Entered, against my Will, without my permission, and all that, but now that I am bound to the Games, I am in it to Win it!"

A cheer rose from the assembled masses.

"I Left Hogwarts, for two reasons. One, to protect our Dear Beloved Hogwarts. The Rules state; 'One Champion per School.' Nowhere does it say anything about it being just three schools, other then the Name. If we are going by the Name alone, Beauxbatons fielded the wrong Champion…" Potter paused, "Much to our disappointment. Miss Fleur is an Angel among us mortals." the wizards in the crowd hooted, as a few witches snorted. "For more in depth questions, I do direct the Quibbler to send their special investigative Reporter to do a full Q and A with not only me, but my fellow chosen as well. I have signed a contract with the Quibbler, so Any and all information from me will only be in the Quibbler. The Prophet, while a full and hard working publication, has proven in the past to be more of a Mouthpiece for certain elements of our society, who are not always looking to print the Truth for one reason or another. The Quibbler is, but due to these same elements, must encode their truth." He grinned at the brightly, colourfully dressed man, "Can you Find the Truth in the Story? Is there only one? Yes, they are … not completely right in the head, but I have found that I prefer them that way."

The older wizard in white shifted, and coughed.

"I am reminded that we have other business to handle, so let's make this quick. Xeno Lovegood, You have the first Question."

"Ah yes." the Blonde man blinked as he shifted from 'on the street' to 'in the forum', "Mister Potter, What is your thoughts about the Rotfang…"

"I am going to stop you right there, Sir." Harry called out. "I promised Luna that Granger and I would hold a full night of talks with her on that subject. We are here to talk about the Triwizard, My School; the Potter Institute of Spells and Sorcery, Occultism, Familiars, and Foci, or my Hogwart Years. Please make it quick."

Xeno looked through his notes quickly, before noticing his last interviewy. "Youngest Seeker in a Century?"

Harry blinked, before grinning, "A true example of my Luck. a Rival of mine, our first day of Flying lessons, had … acquired an item of my Roommate's, and with the Instructor away, seeing to the injury of said dorm mate, tried to throw it, maybe even break it. Being my first time on a broom, and due to budget cuts, these things are even worse then what the Cannons Fly, I get into the air, just in time to dart after the Arse. He throws the object, no bigger than a Firsty's fist, and being the gallant gryffindor that I am, I dive after it, Catching it, inches from smashing into the Castle wall, pushing off the wall, I flip into a dive and pull up as I skid to a stop among my classmates. Thinking I was safe I hand the item to my friend, Granger to hold while I check over my broom, for any damage…" He paused to smile his Father's crooked grin at the crowd, "When McGonagall Storms the field, yelling for me. I was to follow her, immediately. Thinking I was out of Hogwarts, I passed off my broom, and trudged along as she led me to a Classroom. It was there that I was introduced to Oliver Wood, Team Captain and Keeper of the House Team. The Rest is history. Now, thanks to this story, I was reminded of another errand I must see to,while I can. Last question today, all others can be posted to the Quibbler, and relayed through their Special Reporter. Rita, You have been so well behaved, Bring us home."

"Mister Potter, You have been reported to often being in the company of a certain witch, Are you seeing someone at this time, and who is she?" The Acid green quill quivered yearningly.

"Miss Skeeter. No Quick Quotes Quill. True Blue, or better please." Harry waited as the witch traded out her quill, "Thank you. This way, I can not claim that it was your quill misquoting me." He grinned at her, "As to the Witch often at my side, odds are that it is Miss Granger, my Advisor, and Classmate. We have been Friends since First year, when I helped her with a troll in the Loo. She is the Brains to my Brawn. Will we be more… maybe. This would have been the year to find out, but the Triwizard got in my way. I also learned that there are a few Contracts with my name on them, and will be in talks with those Houses. Most have a Skip Clause, so…" he shrugged. "We will see. Anyone who wants to inquire about talks, and not promising anything more than talk, you can Write to Headmaster Black, who is staying at Hogwarts." He bowed at the shoulders, "Thank you, one and all, but I need to see to Business, both School and House." and he hurried down the steps and into the crowd, Moony right on his heel.

121

As Harry stepped out of Quality Quidditch Supplies, he heard a voice that he was not expecting, nor wanted to ever hear again.

'Hem-hem." the pink dressed toad stepped in front of him, "So you think you can just do as you please? I will show you what it means to oppose the Ministry! Only Good Wolf is a Dead Wolf!" her wand flicked out, but Harry's was faster…

"**Expelliarmus"** He hissed, as his wand passed over her, her wand snapping from the force of the spell, as she was flung across the alley. "I thought Bones had you locked away?" He inquired of the Stunned Witch.

"She did." a chirpy voice was his only warning, as and arm draped over his shoulders, "And when she decided to dig deep into Umbitch's past, Toady here, was thrown into a holding cell. It takes a Master Auror or higher to open those doors." Harry turned to see who the witch leaning on him was, and grinned at the bubblegum pink hair.

"Tonks, Rookie, third class." she grinned at him, "I was sent to get ya. Boss wants to ask you a few questions."

Harry sighed, "Okay Moony. Looks like we have another stop to make." Looking at the pink lump across from them, "What are we going to do about her?"

The Witch stood up, and pulled out a badge, and tapped it four times with her wand. "Well, considering that she just attacked Heir Potter…"

"Lord." Moony sighed behind them.

"What?" the witch spun to face the Wolf, tripping over her own feet, only to be caught by Harry.

"Hey there." Harry smiled at the Witch in his arms, "Allow my to introduce myself. Harry Potter, Lord of Potter, Lord of Black."

"Black!" the witch flailed about and fell from his arms, "You are the Black?"

Harry blinked as he stood upright, "Yeah…"

"Would you hear a plea from a Daughter of Black?" the witch picked herself up off the ground. "My Mother was Disowned, for the Crime of Marrying a muggleborn."

Harry blinked, "Bring your Mother to Hogwarts. Ask to speak with Headmaster Black. We will take it from there."

Just then the pounding of feet Heralded the approach of a squad of four Aurors in red Robes, trotting along the Alley. The group was being led by John Dawlish, as they pushed through the crowd, he was heard to swear, but the exact words were lost, as his fellows quickly joined in too.

"Rookie Tonks, Why did you Summon a Squad for backup, and What is SHE doing here?" the Senior Auror pointed his wand at the Pink pile of Witch on the ground.

"I was sent by Director Bones to track down, and drag in as politely as possible, 'Mister Potter' here. When I arrived, I saw and heard Umbitch threaten the Lad, and flick her wand at him. He disarmed her, breaking her wand and smashing her into the wall behind her. I called for you, as I can not allow her to be left on the street like that, deliver to the Boss, Potter here, and now I find out, Umbitch just assaulted not only Heir Potter, but Lord Potter-Black!" Tonks chirped. "And I do believe that Lord Potter-Black wants to press charges for Assault!"

"More like attempted Murder." Potter smiled at Dawlish, "Of myself and my Uncle." he waved his hand to Lupin. "I will be wanting the Book thrown at her, her allies, and Everyone connected to this. Potter's do not take Insults lightly, but Blacks are known for going for the Blood and Gold of those who slight us." He waved his hand at the pink pile of pulped political pestilence. "Take it away, I will be filing paperwork with the Director." Looping his left arm through Tonk's right, "My dear Daughter, you were taking me somewhere?"

Lupin snorted, as he followed the two into an apparition.

John looked at his fellows in red, "You know this means that someone is going to have to sit on her, until Bones calls for her. Question is, do I order it done, and not have to chance it being me? Or do I throw in with you, but if you lose, you can not blame it on me?"

The three others shared a look, before playing the Magical version of 'Rock, paper, scissors' and the 'rookie' of them lost, before grumbling and grabbing the robes of the Downed witch, and vanishing with a 'Crack'. The other two choursed, "You Ordered it, Sir."

121

Granger was not having a good Day. First Ron was not only his usual self, but he had a double helping of jealousy running as well. Then he turned to her for 'Help' on three assignments that were due that day. When she had held firm, and told him 'No', he had blown up and ranted that she did for 'Potter' and then demanded to know what 'other services' she provided for Harry.

She just Decked him. That she did so in front of the whole Great Hall during Breakfast, did little to cheer her up, but every witch in the Hall applauded. The Twins and Ginny cheered.

Albus had looked to his teachers to penalise the witchling, and when none did, went to do so himself, only to notice the glare of his Deputy. Realizing that any points he took, would also be deducted from his agent, and Granger would be award equal if not greater points for standing up for herself and Witch-kind. "Two points, Mister Weasley. Behavior unbecoming!" Albus drawled out.

McGonagall frowned, but at least he did something.

Granger's next class was Runes, and with her anger at the redhead, her hand was shaking too bad to draw her glyphs. The Professor was one of those who witnessed her show this morning, and so gave her a break.

After that, was a study hall, and Malfoy made an appearance in the Library.

"Hey Granger. Now that Potter is no longer here, what are you going to do?" He smippered, "No Half-blood to protect you, and after what you did to Weasley…" he smirked.

"If you must know, you inbred snake," Hermione hissed, "Potter will still have my back, as he has joined a new school, being hosted here. He now can take direct action against the likes of you, And Snape can no longer protect you from him, nor from any in the White robes. Watch your mouth, or you will end up like Weasley!" She slammed her book closed gathered her things, and returned to her dorm.

Once in her room, she sighed as she looked about, before calling for Winky.

"Missy Grangy called Winky?" the Elf squeaked.

"Hello Winky." Hermione smiled at the elf, who still wore the dress that Crouch gave her, and while it was worn, it was clean, and her head was covered in a tea towel wimple. Hermione had relaxed her views on Elf Service, but still treated them almost humanly. "How is your day going?"

"Winky good. Not enough Work, Hoggy Elves not sharing."

"You want more Work?" the witch sat on the bed, patting it beside her, inviting the elf to join her.

"Yes, Missy." The elf popped onto the bed, before kneeling within arms reach. "Winky needs more. Girls Dorms are watched by Elf Matron, and she is not letting Winky do any. The Boy's…" the elf made a face, "So Dobby can keep Master Harry, but Winky is left out."

"Are you not taking care of Black and Lupin?"

"Yes, but Winky needs More."

Hermione blinked and looked about, before her eyes fell on the paperwork for her transfer to P.I. "What if you added my Parents to your workload. You would be working in a muggle environment, but there is a lot of little things that needs doing at my House. My parents work full time, and could use the Help of a good Elf. And as Harry's Elf, on loan, you can ignore things with them, that might break your bond with Harry. You are welcome to use my room as yours until I come Home. then we will speak about Winky's room and needs."

"Missy Grangy is Giving Winky her family?" Hope bloomed in the Elf's eyes.

"Mom prefers Tea each morning. Earl Grey, honey and milk, and Loves Coffee, Heavy Cream and sugar. Breakfast is cooks choice, but Mom loves waffles on the weekends when Dad goes shooting, and Dad loves a good fry-up. Then there is the house, laundry, and Garden." Hermione smiled at the Elf, "You can even ask them if they need or want something more done. Just don't be seen by muggles and protect them from outsiders."

"Winky take care of Family." she hopped to her feet, "Winky done Here?"

"Almost, love." Hermione stood and shrugged out of her Hogwarts attire. "First I need to change Robes, then I need you to take my trunk to my dorm in the Lord's Wing." quickly, with the Elf's help, the witchling was dressed in white, and as the Elf took everything of hers but the paperwork, Hermione descended the stairs one last time. Peering about the Common Room, she sighed as the memories played through her head, before turning on her heel and striding out of the tower she called home.

121

A knock at her door, pulled Director Bones from her angry thoughts. "Come!" Her wand low at her knee, just as her Mentor Moody had taught her…

Tonks poked her head in, "Hey Boss. A bit of a Problem. Good news. Found Potter for ya, he even came quietly. Bad news. Umbridge found him first."

Bones exploded to her feet, wand gripped her fist, ready to go on the hunt for a pink dressed toad. "Where was she last seen?"

"Outside Quality Quiditch." Potter snarked as he pushed the rookie into the office, before turning and dragging the rumpled wizard from last night in with him, and closing the door. "She was out cold, with four of your boys in red standing over her." He then rough handed the older two into place in front of the desk He let Tonks Stand, but put Lupin into one chair, before dropping into the other. "Sorry about not waiting to be invited to sit, but with the day I have had…" he wiped a hand over his face, "Had I been old enough, I would be asking for a nib or two. Then for some reason these two are scared of you, when we can easily redirect your anger at other targets." He flashed a crooked grin at her. " Now, how and why was that Hag on the street, to threaten a Lord of the Realm?"

"I will look into it." the witch swore, before touching her wand to a rune carved into her desk, "Robards, my office. Code Peach."

The door opened as a nondescript man stuck his head in, "Yes, Chief?"

"Find out who released Umbridge, why, and put them in the cell next to hers!" the witch hissed, her Rage barely suppressed. "Someone deliberately went around me, and my orders."

"Yes Chief!" the door clicked shut, as he went about his new mission.

The Witch made a show of stowing her wand, pouring a glass of scotch, bolting it, and then calling for tea. "And Now, you said something about Threatening a Lord of the Realm?" as she sat, perched on the edge of her office chair.

Harry grinned his Father's trademark grin, "As I was leaving Quality Quiditch, having taken care of some business, I was first Verbally Assaulted, threatened with a wand, and the Words that were thrown my way, made me feel that both my Life, and the Life of my Uncle here," he waved at Moony, "were on the Line. her words, and I quote; 'Only Good Wolf, is a Dead Wolf. I am Chuffed that I am just faster then she is, as my Disarming hex handled her, with little danger to the surrounding crowd." He pulled his wand, to offer it to the Director to 'read', "As of this Morning, I am Lord Potter, Lord of Potter, Lord of Black. And that Hag wantabe is going to burn."

"As Much as I would love to allow that," Bones picked up the boy's wand, only to frown, "considering her Connections, she will at most get a fine, that will somehow trickle back into her pocket." She rolled the Holly 'stick' in her fingers, "Just where did you get this wand?"

"Ollivander's. July 31, of '91." Harry perked up.

"Tonks, please go get Mr. Ollivander. Tell him I need him to identify a wand for me." Tonks bolted from the office, not tripping over anything on her way. Setting the wand on the desk, Bones scanned the lad with her enchanted glass. "Lord of two Houses, strong ones at that, and The Chief Warlock did not stop you?"

A Knock at the door, revealed a witch with a tea service, and soon everyone was sipping a cuppa.

Once they were alone again, Harry sipped from his cup, "The Old Man would have tried to stop me, interfering with House Business, uninvited, and undesired. This whole thing with Black, could have been handled in a couple of weeks, but here we are five months later, and the only reason Sirius is not running anymore is because I had to take steps, steps against the Old Man."

Anything further was interrupted by the arrival of an Owl.


	10. Chapter 10

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 10

ISDH

121

Ron was not having a good day.

First that Muggle-bitch would not 'help' him with his homework, and then for no reason, she hauls off and decks him. In the Great Hall no less. Then, to rub salt in the wound, the Headmaster takes points from Him! His own Man!

Next, the drunk Trelawny, used him instead of Potter in her 'Telling's and while not death, they were not pleasant. That was what Potter was for!

Before his next class, word came through a chain of Paintings, that the Headmaster wanted to see him. As he approached the gargoyle, he looked about, before whispering "whisper." the stone beast shifted to the side, to allow the boy to squeeze by, before settling back on its perch.

"Ah, Ron, my Boy." The Grandfatherly fool greeted him warmly, as if he had not stripped away points this morning. "How goes your mission?"

"What Mission?" the Redheaded roughen, groused. "Potter?" He spat, "He has had me running about, working on my Keeping. Then he goes and gets his name in the Goblet, and turns his back on the House, the Team, and the School!"

"Actually, it is a good thing that he stepped away from the School, for now." Albus smiled at Ron, "Covered my Arse, he did, with that prank. He is correct, the Rules state, One Champion per School. As a Hogwarts student, We were in breach of those rules." he popped a lemon sour into his mouth, before offering the bowl to the boy. Ron took one. "As for Quiditch, I was asked by the Minister to hold it off, so we could spotlight the Tournament. Potter turned Malfoy to reinstating the season, and just before the first Game, has to bow out, leaving you sitting pretty. Can you hold it together long enough to show us in a good light?"

Ron grumbled, "What about Potter? What am I to do about him now?"

"Nothing." the wise wizard smiled, "As far as your assignment is concerned, Potter is done. I need you to focus on keeping the outside elements away from him."

Ron frown at the man, "Okay. Why did you take points from me this morning?"

"Because if I didn't, McGonagall would have stripped you to the bone, and then pulled points. I need you to learn to watch your mouth, boy." the gentle grandfather faded, as the Leader of the Light shone through, "You need to learn to pick your battlefields better. If you are going to rile up the bint, Do Not do it in the Great Hall! That is what the Common Rooms are for. And thanks to the Boy's monuvore, He can not protect her in the Common room, nor in Class. Your Brothers have joined him, leaving you the only Weasley son in the Dorms. Get it through your thick skull, Potter is only a means to an End. A stepping stone on the road to Our Goals...My Goals! If you do anything to jeopardize my Plans, you can join your Uncles!"

"My Uncles?"

The Old Man grinned, "Gideon and Fabian." it was not a nice grin, "Sacrifices for the Greater Good."

The boy paled, "Yes Sir."

"With that taken care of," the Grandfather guise slid back into place, "Here is this week's payment, try to make it last the full week, hmm?" a paper wrapped parcel slid across the desk, and was quickly hidden in the boy's robes. "Do you have anything else to report?"

"Not really." Ron frowned as he turned his thoughts back over the last few days. "With Harry gone, most of the House is quiet, Granger is a bit mouthy, but that will fall away as she finds herself without friends. With the Twins gone, there was no party, but like that will stop they the Older Years for long." Ron counted on his fingers. "The Team was a bit depressed, with Potter leaving, but there is word that he is coming to the Tower this evening, for something. When I asked if he thought he could be returning to the Team, the Chasers told me to stuff it." Ron shrugged, "Nothing much really."

The old man nodded, scribbled a note, passing it to the boy. "This should get you out of Potions, but you will have to show for Charms after Lunch. Dismissed." he flicked the note at Ron who snagged it from the air.

121

The Owl, harnessed by Gringotts, was delivering two scrolls. Bones took the time to first read the one addressed to the Director of the DMLE. "I have been invited to a Will reading...Potter,James and Potter-Evens, Lily?" She looked at the young man before her, "Can you tell me why?"

"My answer is that there is a few things that will be shown to Us, that need to be seen." He shifted in his chair, "But I fear that the other scroll is what you are going to want to talk about."

Bones read the second scroll…'Marriage contract... Next week… Talks with…' "Potter?"

"I will tell you now, Susan is not my only Contracted, for House Potter. I have a total of three, two are asking for Continuation. I am willing to talk Continuation with House Bones, or buy a Skip, whichever House Bones prefers." the lad was flustered. "Please, Any and All questions, Direct to Regent Black, aka Headmaster Black, now at Hogwarts." He smiled.

"Regent Black?"

"He transferred House Black to his Heir, me, as soon I took the Ring, something my Managers found amusing. I passed House Potter to a Proxy, that will shake up the 'Mot, and Named Padfoot my Regent, and am thinking of Naming Madam Tonks as my Black Proxy."

"You will want to double the Auror Guard, and make sure they are Goblin Friendly." Lupin sighed, shaking off the Fear of being in this office. "The Lad is set on shaking up all of Britain."

"Noted." she scribbled a note on her blotter, an idea of what the Lad had done. "Now as the Assault on yourselves, by an escaped prisoner…"

"Throw the Book at the Bitch." Potter sneered, "House Potter wants Justice, but House Black wants her and her supporters to bleed Red and Gold."

"Done. How far do you want this to go?"

"Exclude House Potter allies, in the First wave. If there are two reasons to crush Potter Allies, take them. If only one, leave them with a warning." the Lad had gone cold, "Potter does not run from a fight, but Black is to be Feared. For now, House Potter and House Black are using the Law. Next, We will use House Privilege."

"And just who is Allied with Potter."

"The Cub does not know of his Father's nor his Grandfather's Alliances." Lupin piped up, "The Old Man has Failed in his duties to House Potter, and none of the Others have approached to reaffirm."

"Not for lack of trying." Bones snarled, "Susan tried many times in her First year, but was blocked by Weasley, Claiming that Potter had no interest in the Old Alliances. Second Year, was the same until the Dueling incident… where the Lad's … gift scared off the whole of Hufflepuff."

"Ron was not acting under my orders, nor Wishes. Please pass the word to Susan, she and a Friend are welcome at my side, anytime." Harry bowed his head, "While no longer a Hogwart's student, I am open to visiting any of the Four Houses, bar a few _Select_ persons, who will be informed personally. House Potter asks House Bones to also tell the Other's of the old Alliances, We are open for talks. Ignore the words of the Youngest Son of Weasley, as I fear that he answers to someone who does not have my Interests in Heart if not Mind."

"A Friend?" the Matron asked. "What Friend?" her smirk barely hidden.

"Hannah Abbot, I believe." Harry looked the Witch in the Eye, "The two are rarely separated, and Hufflepuff rarely travel alone." He looked at his Uncle, "Especially after our Second year."

"There were a few discrepancies in Umbridge's paperwork. Otherwise I would have handled it last night." The witch opened a folder on her Desk, "She and Fudge have been pushing hard for the 'Kiss' for Black, but with the paperwork I have found, just in the Archives, something was not adding up. When I set a few Rookies to combing the Files of her Office, a ledger came to light. It seems that she is Blackmailing or taking bribes from most of the 'Mot, and no few of the above drone class Ministry workers. Fudge is showing signs that his fingers are in the Pies as well, but with everything going through Umbridge, that she might just be putting pages before him to sign, and dribbling a few gold coins before him."

Just then, a knock on the door, redirected the attention of everybody…

"Come!"

The wild haired head of the Wand Maker poked his head in, "Bones. You call for me in an Official Capacity?"

"Ah, Garick. Yes, I need you to Identify and 'read' this Wand, For the Record. It was used against Umbridge this afternoon, according to testimony."

The Wand Maker, stepped in, closing the door behind him. Taking the Wand between his forefingers, he whistled. "Holly with a Phoenix Tail feather, 11 inches, Supple." He glared at the young lord, "And you have Burned out the Core! The Wood is crystallised from the inside, and …" His eyes went wide… "By the Holy Tree, Just have you done?"

"Just Defended myself from an attacker…" Harry frowned, "At Least that was today. Ever since the end of Second Year, she has been a bit off. But she changed yet again at the end of Third Year. And now…" He waved his hand at the stick held between the old man's pointers.

"Director Bones, The last spell cast by the wand was an '**Expelliarmus'** not even an hour ago, but I can see it fading as we speak. The Lad's Magic has burned the Feather, and infused the ash to the wood. It will still function for him and him alone, but if what I am hearing is correct, he is Going to need a new wand." He handed the wand back to the Witch, "To anyone else, that is just a pretty stick. I can not even use it to recore a new wand for the Lad. I will need him to come by for a refitting."

"Thank you Garick. That is all."

The Wand Maker bobbed his head, and left.

"Anything else you need from me?" the boy wiped his face with his hands, "It has been a long day, and I skipped breakfast, and missed Lunch. I would like to go grab something before returning to the Castle."

"Just to sign some forms." a few sheets from her filing cabinet, she quickly quilled the Paperwork, "The primary charges for today are, but not limited to…"

"Assault and Attempted Murder of Lord Potter-Black, the Chosen Champion and the Deputy Headmaster of the Potter Insitute, and risking the Lives and Safty of the Puplic Of Diagon Alley." Harry frowned, "I will leave the exact wording up to you, and please feel free to include any and all charges you can. The Pettier, the Better. I do not know why, but that hag rubs me the wrong way." he rubbed the back of his left hand. He signed the bottom of the Page offered to him. "I do hope that we can meet for something more unofficial, next time."

The Lad and the Wolf made their excuses, and exited to the Office.

121

Twenty minutes later, Harry and Remus sat in the outside dining area of Florean Fortescue's awaiting for their order. The busy buzz of the public hurrying about, brought a smile to the lad's face. Their robes were an Island of White in a swirling sea of Dark Blues, Greys, and Greens. No two were completely the same, be it shade, tone, cut, or material.

Any wool-gathering was disrupted as two platters with their lunch orders were dropped before them, as the Propietter nodded at the lad who had spent most of the Summer at his place, over a year ago. "Mr. Potter. Good to see you, but are you not in School?"

"Florean, May I introduce my Uncle Remus Lupin, Deputy Headmaster and Master of Defence for the Potter Institute of Spells, Sorcerory, Occultism, Familiars, and Foci." He grinned at the Mustachioed Man, "Uncle Moony, Florean Fortescue, Deli Master and Provider of Popular Potibles and Partakeables."

"Show off." the shopkeeper smiled at the young man.

"You do know that he is no longer Mister Potter." Lupin smiled at the young Lord, "He is now Lord Potter-Black." Looking up at the man, "You can now Boast that this the Prefered dining establishment of Lord Potter-Black."

"In that case, Afters are on the House. Your Usual?" at the young Lords nod, he turned to the , with a raised eyebrow.

"Three scoops of Triple Mint Chocolate Death, and we will be needing them to go." The Wizard Wolf sighed, "You no doubt heard about the incident out front of Quality Quiditch?" At the big man's nod, "It seems two wands were rendered non-operational with his Lordship's Disarming charm. His Power was too great for it, and now Ollivander wants him in for a refitting."

Florean grunted, before smiling at the two before him. "Afterwards, head down Knockturn to Aberrant Batons, Tell the Wand Crafter that I sent you. Garrick is good, but Toni is better. And remember to get a different wand holster for each."

Harry tore into the Prime-rib steak sandwich before him, as Lupin snacked on his chips. As the plates were quickly cleaned, two cardboard boxes, charmed to keep them waterproof, and chilled. After Wiping lips and fingers, the two dropped three Gold, and crossed the street, to Ollivanders.

As the Door closed, "I did not expect you to show so quickly" The wild haired Crafter stepped from the shadows. "Main Question, Are you going to keep that wand?"

"No, Not really." Harry drew his Holly wand, setting it on the counter, "You claimed it was fragile. It has served me very well, if a bit dodgy after I was bitten by the Basilisk and heal by Fawks."

The Wand MAker's eyebrows went up "Basilisk Venom? Phoenix Tears?" His eyes drifted to the Wand, "And you said dodgy?

"Yeah, like a wagon with an untrue wheel on the rear, and then Last Year, when I drove off the Dementor Pack with my Patronus, it went Wonky, like a wagon missing a front wheel. If I kept the load balanced, and the speed slow, she would carry me home, but…"

Garric gently picked up the wand, "Patronus you say, Fully corporeal?" at the boy's nod, "Out of Curiosity…"

"A Stag," Looking at the Man at his shoulder, "Prongs."

The Wolf sniffed.

"Any Idea how many were driven Off?"

"It was the Whole contingent that was stationed about Hogwarts last year. My Friend Granger estimated it to be about a hundred."

The old wizard hummed, "and this year?" He looked at the boy over the wand between his finger tips, "What has changed in the last few days, it completely altered the inner structure of this Wand."

"Between me being chosen for the Tournament, Which led to me being declared of Age, which in turn allowed me to claim not just my Heir Rings, but due to the Arse that is my Godfather and Headmaster of the Institute, both Lord and Head Rings as well. Heir Potter Ring loosened up something, and the Lord Potter put me to my knees, breaking most of them. As for Black..."

[Flashback]

"… _is good enough to know that my Dogfather is so going to be threatened with a Neutering."_

_Moony snorted, as he tried to contain his laughter._

Ashrack quickly got down to business. First it was the ritual for the Heir Ring, which caused Harry to grasp his scar, hissing.

As the Heir Ring was slid onto his finger, the Lordling felt a prickling run up his arm and a sharp, stygian stab in his Scar.

**$What is this stain on the House of Black? What is this stigma on our Heir?$ **the voice was in Harry's head, and yet not. **$This one is Impure!$**

$It is a scar from when I first faced the last Heir of Slytherin. Or so he called himself.$

The cold pin-pricks about his scar shifted, as if whatever he was talking to had changed its point of view.

**$The Last Heir, First Facing of?$**

$I have so far faced him, or his shade/ghost, and walkway alive, if not victorious, three times now.$

**$I am sensing more then just this dark magic in our Heir.$**

$The second time I faced him, I killed his host, as it could not stand the touch of my hand. The third time I killed a Beast he had bound to his will, as it bit me. I survived as I Destroyed what had Kept his shade alive, with the very venom that was flowing through my veins. I only survived by the wits and Luck of befriending a Phoenix, who cried into my Wounds.$

**$All this, as the Heir of House Black?$**

$No, Did not know of my Station as a Scion of Black until two months ago, and even then was unaware of my Statius as Heir of Potter. My Godfather was too Slytherin for his own good, and was sent to a Hell of our Enemies making. He escaped to protect me, and when I was deemed to be 'Of Age' by the same fools, He, the unclaimed Lord of Black, named me Heir and sent me to claim my Rings. I had no Idea that the Sneaky Bastard had doubts of his ability to produce an Heir of his Body, and so Passed the Future onto me.$

The prickling grew more intense, as if a millipede had strapped pins to its feet and was dancing about the scar.

**$There are two soul shards in this wound, one is stronger than the other, but she is weakened by bindings on you, though they are freshly broken. The Darker one is too weak to take you over, but it is oozing into your… Heir, where are your defenses? Your mind and core are laid bare!$**

$Defenses?$ Harry was confused, only to grab his head, as the Ring surged, and then to scream as the scar split open, and a black puss and smoke were ejected.

[flashback ends]

"... I had to defend myself when we were attacked outside Quality Quiditch, where my disarming charm not only knocked my attacked across the alley, but knocked her out, and broke her wand.

"Broke. Wand." the look of horror on the Crafter's face, a sacrilege of the highest order… a wand breaking another. "Who?"

"Umbridge." snarled Moony. The hate twisting his face, as if the Wolf wanted to rip from within.

"Oh." the old man turned his attention back to the wand in his fingers. "So, you have charged your core, changed your blood, and snapped bindings on your Magic… You should have brought me your wand in during your stay in the alley…" he than hummed, "I will have to craft you a new wand… the changes in your blood require a durable, firm yet flexible wood, with a high capacity core... " He turned to the backroom, "Follow me."

The two wizards in white followed in his wake.

In a room filled with blank blocks of wood of all types and lengths, Garrick waved a hand at the walls. "Close your eyes, and wave your hand as you cast… Lumios."

"**Lumios."**

A block of wood launched from the Back wall, aiming for the lad's head, and just before it hit, he snagged it from the air. The Wand Carfter nodded, before turning to another room.

"I normally use only use Dragon Heartstring and Unicorn mane and tail strands, with the odd Phoenix feather now and again, but they are not the only material available."

"Where do you get your…"

"The Heartstrings come from Dragon reserves, and Hagrid usually brings me strains of Mane and Tail strands, to fund his Bar bills and Poker habits." Garric waved about the room, filled with shelves of terracotta jars. "I travel for about a month each year, collecting samples here and there, and some travelers bring me things they find… the Lovegoods use it to fund their expeditions now and again." He smiled at the lad. "Here the process is different. Close your eyes, and reach out with your magic, your are looking for a 'sound' that blends with you and your magic."

Harry did as he was told. Six 'tones' returned. Two were sharp, and painful to his ears. He pulled his magic from them. The other four warbled, before one fell silent. "I have three, sing to me." Harry then pointed them out.

Garric looked bewildered, and yet excited, "My Boy, this is going to be one doozy of a Wand." he Collected the three clay jars that Harry had pointed to. "Now I just need to match your wavelength…" he led the way into the workroom. Setting the jars on the bench, he pulled a selection of wands from a cubby, and turned to the boy. "Lets see, your last was eleven inches, so… let's try a ten…" the old man traded the block in harry's hand for a dowel of pine. "No, too flat… let's try thirteen…" the stick was traded to a longer on, "No, too sharp. A twelve?" the third rod bucked in harry's hand, but the old man sighed, "Twelve and a quarter. Okay, Do you want to return for it today? Or do you want me to mail it?"

"How long will it take?" Lupin asked.

"I am looking at two, maybe three hours, pending on the reactions of the cores." He returned the rods to their cubby, "So that just leaves payment."

"Mail it." Lupin sighed, "I am needed back at Hogwarts. Our Headmaster has a penchant for trouble."

"Okay." the wand maker led the way back to the front counter. "Custom Wands, are different than stock wands. Your first wand is co-paid by a Ministry Subsidy, as this is your second wand, that does not apply here." he pulled up a muggle order form and biro, "Ten Galleons for the wand, Forty galleons per core, brings us to a one hundred thirty galleons. I will throw in a new deluxe wand care kit and a hit wizard wrist holster. Now, will that be coin or ring impression?"


	11. Chapter 11

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 11

121

Greengrass. That is how she thought of herself, Heiress Greengrass. She knew that she was destined to Marry to continue the Line. Malfoy had been hinting that his Father had made arrangements for them to be married by their seventh year. She was hoping that Potter would be approachable for her to mention the Contract…

She was having an 'okay' day. Malfoy was his annoying self, as was Weasley. The Twins had smacked their younger brother about, but the real show was Granger, as she put the walking compost heap in his place, before the entire Hall, not just the School, but the whole visiting contingent as well.

The morning had come and gone, as the Student Body had regrouped for Lunch. She was a bit surprised that the White dressed School had grown to include Granger, and the Announcer of the Quidditch Games. She was thinking about asking if she and Tracy could join the Potter Academy, if only to get away from the jerks in School.

Malfoy was waiting for Potter to show so He could verbally assault the Gryffindork. Daph, smirked, knowing that Potter was no longer a Gryff, but a Pi guy. Watching him take to the white hair tosser down would be a most delightful showing. The two goons were busy feeding themselves, as was Weasley. Pansy was holding Court close enough to back Malfoy as needed, but away from the circus that was coming.

Just as she had finished her food, as was contemplating a cup of fruit ambrosia, an Owl dropped from the rafters, to offer her two scrolls. As she inspected the seals, before touching them, she gasped seeing the Gringotts emblem. Taking the scrolls, she thanked the owl, who bobbed its head, sipped her punch, and returned to the rafters. As it flew away, she noticed it was not alone. One from the Hufflepuffs table, and one from the Gryffindor's...wearing a face of pudding, it was trying to lick its beak as it flapped to the ceiling.

She popped the first scroll, scanning it, feeling Tracy vibrate beside her in curiosity.

Marriage contract...Potter… Continuation

Optional generational Skip buy

Meeting next week between House Greengrass and Potter

All Questions to Headmaster Black of P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Daph blinked twice, before passing the scroll to Tracy. As her Half-Blood friend read the scroll, she popped the seal on the other scroll. Scanning it, her blood turned to ice.

Marriage contract...Black… Concubine

Meeting next week between House Greengrass and Black

All Questions to Headmaster Black of P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

"As soon as you are done eating, Trace, We are going to see Headmaster Black." Snarled Greengrass.

"Good thing I am done then." Tracy Davis stood, stepping away from the bench, "We have much to talk to the 'Good' Headmaster about." Greengrass not half a step behind her.

The two T'Witchs exited the Hall, and climbed to the Fourth Floor, where the Medical Wing was.

As they entered the Wing, they noticed the circle of three White Robed Wizards snickering at the foot of the foot of a bed two from the Nurse's office. As they approached, they noticed the occupant was bound to the bed, his hair had exploded, and was coloured like a Clown's afro, as his nose had taken on a likeness of Snapes, and he was cackling under a silence shield as a couple of ostrich feathers tickled his feet. Medi-Witch stood over the bed, her face a mix sadistic glee and motherly concern.

"Now, Who started this?" the Nurse demanded, her hands on her hips.

The twins pointed at the man strapped to the bed.

Lee snorted, "Black cast the first spell, and if he had been using his wand, we would not have stood a chance. Only because he was using a mismatched wand were we able to dodge, but you got here before we could return fire. And Judging by what you did to him, We are happy that you got here first, or we would find ourselves in a similar position as the Headmaster."

Poppy snorted, "Be elsewhere." the trio split. As the Matron turned to the girls, "And what do you two want?"

"Madam Pomfrey." Greengrass bowed her head, "We have need to talk to the Headmaster. Both on a School matter, and on a House Matter."

Poppy gave them both a hard look, before a flick of her wand stripped the Headmaster of the Bindings and Feathers, but left the afro, allowing the shield to fail. "Okay, but no hexing him, as he is full of Potions, and any magic use by him or on him could disrupt the matrix within him." the wand on the floor snapped to her hand as she returned to her office.

The two witchlings sat on the bed by the office, facing Black as he stood, straightening his bathrobe, and sat on the bed.

"You asked to see me?" He drawled. Daphne passed the two scrolls to the Wizard. He read them, "Ookay." he drawled, drawing out the vowels, "Well, I have some good news, and some bad. While this Contract to House Black was forced through by Lord Malfoy, in the purview of you, by Name, marrying his spawn, that is no longer the case. By the time House Black and Greengrass met to finalize terms, House Malfoy will no Longer have legal ties to House Black. My Heir will see to that. As he has taken up not only the Heir Ring, but Lordship as well, you are now and forever free of Malfoy by Contract. Unfortunately, you will either have to pass the Heirship to your sister, or buy the Skip." He Grinned, "The Contract with Potter is for the Heiress, and if you are married to Black, Potter will need to be…"

"Why are you grinning?" Tracy growled, while Greengrass was thinking that she was free of Malfoy.

"That is because I know who Lord Black is." the old 'Dog' grinned. "Malfoy overstepped himself in crafting that contract. You will need to take your future Husband in hand, and most likely share him with a few other Witches. James had to buy off House Bones, and as your Father had no sisters, when he decided to marry Evens. It was a big mess, but he loved her from first year, and she loved him from sixth…" He sighed dreamily, before focusing on the girls before him. "And you Miss." Locking eyes with Davis, "What are you here for?"

The two witches frowned, before answering, "One minute." Greengrass forced her mind through the hoops the 'Headmaster' had laid before her. "Lord Black, you say." Black nodded, a smug look on his mug. "As you are the only Black in magical Britain, that means you have passed the title off." Tracy's eyes grew wide, "As it is not Malfoy, by your words, no matter what he is saying, that would mean…"

Black just smirked.

"Auntie told us Mister Black was best friends with none other than…" Tracy hissed, "Lord Potter. Remember how she kept saying 'there was no way that _Dog_ would turn on Potter'."

Sirius barked a laugh. "She would know. She had me chasing my tail for a time, before Cyrus cast his spell on her heart, and Amy took up my leash."

Daphne glared at the Wizard, "Are you making a joke?"

The wizard in a rainbow afro rippled into a massive dog, it's coat matching the afro, colour and massive curls. He barked, before shifting back. "My second favorite joke. Yes, I am a dog. The worst I will do is slobber on you." the grin faded, "You were getting somewhere?"

"Best friends with Potter…" Greengrass whispered as the colour drained from her face, "You son of a bitch!"

"Yes." Black smirked, "Yes I am. She was a vile hag of a woman."

Daphne turned to Tracy, "I am double contracted to Potter, and have Bones along as well. If I don't hand the Heirship to Tori, we will have to buy the Skip. If I do pass off the Heirship, my Husband gets both Daughters of Greengrass. That does not include Granger, or knowing his luck…"

"Do Not go there." hissed Tracy.

Black snickered.

"Headmaster Black." Greengrass turned back to afro'd wizard. "We patision to join your School. We are not safe in our House; Me because of my status as Heiress, Tracy for her Blood-status. Malfoy is getting just too close the line. His Father has bought the correct tongues in the Ministry, he has cast the killing curse before 'proper wizards' before anything will be done."

"Okay, I will accept you two, but the niceties must be met. I will need you have your folks sign the paperwork. Winky!" am elf in a dress, while worn, was clean and neat, and a tea towel wimple around her ears, appeared at Black's knee. "I will need two Change of School forms. And a list of PI supplies they will need to acquire." the Elf bobbed a nod and vanished.

That was as far as they got, due to afternoon classes.

121

The Sun was setting as Potter returned to the Castle, having come through the Floo to the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmead, with a quick stop at the sweet shop, and the Book store, before climbing to the Castle. As they entered the Great Hall, all noise died away.

"Mister Potter!" Albus called out from his place at the head table. "Where have you been?"

"Ah, Mister Dumbledor." Harry called back, as Lupin joined Black and the rest of the white robed students at the Gryffindor table, "The Deputy Headmaster and I were seeing to a few School Matters. We had hoped to be back by Lunch, but were attacked by a Toad, and ended up cooling our heels in the DMLE."

"The Correct form to address me in these Halls is 'Professor' or 'Headmaster'." The old man smiled gently at the lad.

"If I was a student here, I would agree. As my Host, calling me out before the full Hall…" Harry let his thoughts fade, "Besides, the Correct form to address me, while not your student is Lord Potter."

The whole of Hogwarts gasped.

"Now, Sir, if I may, get to dinner, it has been a long day, and I skipped breakfast and missed lunch."

Albus waved him on.

As Harry sat, the Hall took to whispering. Harry nodded to Granger and Jordan, who had joined them in white robes, as he filled his plate. Topics about him were plans for the coming year, as the white robes were unbound by their old class plan.

Just as Harry was finishing his meal, a voice he had been expecting, but not looking forward to, made itself known.

"Hey Scarhead. Where were you today? Find a hole crawl away into?" The whole Hall went quiet.

Harry took his time, wiping his mouth and hands before looking at the twins. "Oh Look, Dinner and a Show." he snarked as he slowly stood, and stepped clear of the bench. "Ah, Scion Malfoy. I was wondering when you were going to show yourself. I thought I made it clear, I am now Lord Potter, Of House Potter." He glared at the blond peacock, "Now do you have something witty to prattle? Or are you just strutting about?"

"You have No Right to talk to that way about me!" Malfoy lost his sneer.

"I Do." Harry grinned. "When you tell you Father about this, please do tell him that House Black thanks him for his services, but they are no longer needed. We are having the Older Daughter of Black take over as Proxy." He waited as the Hall gasped.

Draco blinked twice, "What do you mean, House Black?" He drew himself up, "I am heir to Black, as my Mother is the only Black not…" his eyes flickered to the 'Visiting' Headmaster.

"Yes, Cissy was the only _Daughter_." Harry reached out and patted Draco on the shoulder, "But before he passed, Lord Arcturus named His Eldest Grandson his Heir. While Orion had disowned the lad, publicly, Lord Black had quietly named him Heir, and wrote the Wills to prove it. He Allowed Lord Malfoy to proxy for him as he could not abide the collective stupidity of the Ministry. His words. Now, while Sirius never took up the Ring, he was Lord Black as the Ministry never gave him a trial. When He was named my Godfather, he had named me Heir to all that he owned. With the death of Lord Arcturus in '91, Sirius became Lord, unclaimed. Then the Bastardly mutt decided to dodge the duties of the Head Of House, by passing it onto _His_ heir." Harry paused as he watched Draco's eyes as he followed the trail laid before him.

121

"_Hey Scarhead. Where were you today? Find a hole crawl away into?"_

Daphne's head snapped up. Her Face freezing as she drew on her 'Ice Queen' persona.

"Oh, Dinner and a Show!" hissed Tracey. Only for Potter to parrot her a second later.

As the short slender seeker stood up to the Poncy Peacock, Tori scurried to her sister's side. As the facts spilled from Potter's mouth, Daphne decided that now was the time to stand for her House, and for herself. "Tori, I will need to speak with you tonight in the Dorms. I have already written Father and Mother. Tracey, look after her." She stood, and ghosted up behind the two lads, just Potter was winding down.

"... by passing it to _His_ heir."

Draco shivered. "You Lie!" He bellowed, going for his wand. Only to stop when Daphne poked her wand under his ear.

"Now, Malfoy." Daphne projected to the whole Hall, "I only just found a way out of your reach, that did not end with your blood on my robes. Do not make me revisit those plans." Her cold voice causing shivers to run down the spines of many males nearby. "Now, tuck your tail between your legs, shout your threat, and scamper back to your little hidey hole under Snape's robes."

"My Father Will be hearing of this!" the Blond swung about, and with an air of Victory, strode from the Hall.

"Ah, you ruined the best part." Potter whined, "Now Snape won't come over and try to take points and give me detention!"

"Would not work," Greengrass sighed, "You are no longer a Student here at Hogwarts."

"I Know." He smiled, "That was what so funny about it." he sobered, "You must be Greengrass." He held out his hand, palm up, and she laid her on it, he kissed her knuckles. "Thanks to Lord Malfoy, we are Contracted. That places you, and your sister I am told, under the Protection of Potter and Black. Any slight to your Honor or safety, please call on me, if only to watch you teach them the error of their ways." He pulled a black walnut box from a pocket in robes. "A token of our Interest. I ask that you wear it at least until the talks are complete." it opened to reveal a jet black pearl, the size of a pea set in platinum, a ring.

Looking at the ring, "And the others?" She inquired.

"Others?" the look of confusion on his face was so cute.

"Headmaster Black said something about another Contract and a Skip…" She picked the box from his palm, waving her wand over it, then nodded and handed it back, to pluck the ring from said box, and place it on her left middle finger.

"Oh. That." Harry nodded, "I was going to talk to them in private, unless they approach me in public like you did."

"Really Potter?" He turned as the busty Bones stepped up, "Not going to have your guard Weasel run us off?"

"Twins," Harry called out over his shoulder, "Sit on your brother, for me. He has somethings to answer for." He turned back to the strawberry blond, "Heir Bones. Mister Weasley had no right to interfere in House Potter business, as I have told your Aunt, when I saw her today. Do you want to decus this here before the Full Hall, or would you prefer a private talk, say; you, a friend, and your Head of House, with me and my Headmaster?"

Bones frowned, "Trying to get alone? You boys all think alike." she smiled, "We will talk later." she bounced away.

"So, Pup, if all say yes… how many are you looking at?" Headmaster Black stood, and stepped around to drape an arm over Harry's shoulders.

"Lupin counted five."

"I am so proud." the old wizard grin down on his friend's son...just before said lad drove a fist into his gut.

121

The Gryffindor common room was packed full as everybody talking about had happened at dinner and what it meant for the 'Red and Gold', Hogwarts, and the Magical British Empire.

Everybody was surprised when McGonagall and Hooch entered the room. Potter, Black, Lupin, and the Twins following along. Hooch blew her whistle to call attention to them.

"Okay everybody. Potter has asked to address the House, some last minute business, he says." McGonagall waved to lad in white who was standing before the fireplace.

"Okay, I made some promises. I am not able to keep some of them." Harry began, "First, I can no longer lead this House's Team, as I am no longer on the Team. But seeing that possibility, I chose the best Tactician and quiditch fanatic that can ride a broom in our House, as my Second." He pulled a pin from his pocket, as he stepped in front of Ron Weasley. "Ron. I am counting on you to lead this Team to Victory. Refill the vacancies on the roster, and train them to be their best… just don't go Olie on them." the room chuckled.

Harry returned to the Fireplace. "Second piece of business. Seeker Weasley." He grinned at Ginny, "Many have joked about you riding my broom." that caught a few titters, "But alas, I am taking my broom with me. But not to leave the Team in the Lurch…" Lupin passed him a black leather case. Setting the case on the coffee table, and opening to show… a Nimbus 2000. "I was in the Shop to buy a few things today, and saw they had this. I thought you could use it, and it's first owner would most likely prefer it being used rather than hung in some dusty corner of a shop."

As Ginny lifted the broom from the case, she noticed the name carved and gilded just behind the head of the Broom.

**Gwenog Jones**

She almost dropped the broom, "Ha-Ha-Harry?"

"Ride it well, ride it often, Ride it to Victory." Harry clapped her on the shoulder.

Katie collected the Seeker as Angela picked up the case, and as a group moved off to the side.

Harry waved the twins over, as Lupin handed them matching cases. The twins quickly called up their replacements, offered the brooms in the cases; Cleansweep Tens, told them to wing 'snakes' for them, and bowed out.

Retaking center stage, Harry passed a large black duffle to Hooch. "These are to replace _All_ of the brooms you use to teach first years. The guy I talked to at Quality Quiditch was interested in trading them back to the companies to see how the enchanting process has altered over the years, and how they held up." Hooch nodded, and with a flick of her wand, floated the bag out of the room.

"Now, Ladies, I thought about upgrading your brooms, but decided against it." Harry turned to the 'Flying Foxes', "So instead, I got you these." a stack of three muggle binders hit the coffee table. The top one had a Harpy with blood on her talons. "The training manuals for the Harpies, Arrows, and Kestrels. They also had one for the Cannons, but…"

The room laughed. The ladies smiled, and grabbed the binders, and returned to Ginny.

"That just leaves the Keeper." Harry turned somber, "Weasley, front and center."

The red faced lad stepped forward, ready to rip into Potter, until a last case was set on the coffee table. "I had some warning that this coming. My source was untried. She brought a big Prize, and it was a long shot. So I followed her lead. Knowing that I was going to be entered into this Blood Sport, I needed to protect my House and my School. With my name coming from that blasted cup, I needed to leave to protect what I held dear. It is a burden I place before you. One I call friend. To see you through to Victory, I offer one last gift. I had time to look abroad, for the Best Keeper's broom. It came down to a three way tie. I then watched you Keep, crossed your style with what was used professionally, and then made the call." Harry paused for effect, "I give you the Dragonfly." Harry opened the case. "Now she is not the fastest from point A to point B as a racing broom, but with a 360 by 360 dodge and weave…"

"...system, balance drive, and point spin turning." Ron whispered, as he eased the broom into the air. "The broom of choice by professional keepers in…" he looked at Harry, "Do you know how much these cost?"

With a completely straight face, "Yes." Harry grinned at Weasley, claping him on the shoulder, "I can not bring this House to Victory this year, and most likely never again. So I must do everything in my power to see that Cup remains in McGonagall's office. I am removing the worst offenders to the House Point system, to improve the odds of us keeping that cup too." he then frowned, before looking at McGonagall, "I am also taking our best awarder… but three losers for one winner… I expect my House, My former House, to give everybody a run for their galleons."

Ron's spine stiffened in pride, as he clutched his new broom to his chest. "Harry, there is no way I can…"

"Just win the bloody cup." Harry smiled at his friend. "Go put her up, then come back. You and I need to talk." Turning back to the Room, "That is all, for tonight. I know it is much to ask, but can I have the Common Room for an hour? I have just a few last minute things to clear up with my former dormmates, and I will be gone."

Everybody, noisily exited the common room, most going up the male's side, as guys could not join the girl's in their dorms, but gals could visit the guys. McGonagall frowned, at the implied inappropriate behavior, but that is as far as she took it. "One Hour, Mister Potter." She swept from the room.

Dean, Seamus, and Neville were left. "Guys. I would invite you to join us, but I need you guys to complete the year. Come June, We will see if P. I. is going to continue as a school. We can not allow Malfoy to run about unreined in these Halls, nor can we roll over and let the Snakes have this school. I am asking you to keep an eye on each other, and the girls."

"Aye Harry." the lads choursed, before clasping hands with the Wizard in White, and climbing the stairs to their room.

Shortly, Ron returned from his room, the twins a step behind him. Harry sat in the chair while his 'mate' was directed to the couch end nearest him. "Weasley. You were my first friend." Harry spoke tiredly. "And until last year, I would have stepped in front of a raging Hippogriff, or Dementor for you. But you started to break away. First you accuse Hermione of things, and when she and hers are proven innocent, you 'forget' to apologize. You pick fights in my name, then get huffy when I refuse to take up my wand to fight them." Harry looked at Ron, "Than I learn that 'My Best Mate' is not only keeping me isolated, but interfering in House Potter Affairs."

Ron lost all colour in his face. "Harry…"

"I was told, that Bones had tried to make Friends with me our First Year, but was told that I had no interest in more friends. When she approached on the Pretense of Heir Bones to Heir Potter, she was told House Potter was not interested."

The twins gasped.

"Where do you get off Speaking for House Potter?" Harry growled.


	12. Chapter 12

P.I.S.S.O.F.F.

Ch 12

121

"_I was told, that Bones had tried to make Friends with me our First Year, but was told that I had no interest in more friends. When she approached on the Pretense of Heir Bones to Heir Potter, she was told House Potter was not interested."_

_The twins gasped._

"_Where do you get off Speaking for House Potter?" Harry growled._

Headmaster Black stiffened, only to be caught by Lupin's hand on his shoulder.

"Harry… I was told that you needed to be kept… away from others. That they would use you for your Fame and Power." Ron wailed

"Mister Weasley." Harry lost all his warmth in his voice.

"Dumbledor." Ron all but shouted. "He came to the Burrow, talked with Mum, a few days before our first day on the Train. Mum called me in, and told me that the Headmaster had something for me to do." He licked his lips, "I was to find you on the train, and keep close. I was to guide you into being the right and proper wizard you are today."

"But I am not." Harry hissed, seething in a cold rage. "I have been lied to, isolated, and abused. I have been robbed, used, and exploited. I have been trespassed, assaulted, and slandered. Of the three people that could correct this issue, only one is in our House, and he, no doubt, was told to keep his nose to himself or he would end feeding his beloved plants. Or is there another reason Longbuttom never told me about House Potter?"

Ron drew back into the sofa, fear in his eyes. "The Headmaster…"

"And what gives him the Right to decide that about me?"

"But He is Albus Dumbledor." Ron said, like that was the End all.

"Well Mister Weasley, if you were not of the Red and Gold, you have the makings of the Yellow and Black. Please tell that bearded Goat molester, that he has cost you, and cost you dearly. We will only talk once more, after School has ended for the year. I have made a promise, so I will see it paid in full, if you keep up your end. Please tell your Mother, I say thank you, but I will be looking after myself from now on."

"Harry…"

"You will address me as Lord Potter, until I tell you otherwise." Harry stood. "You have a promise to keep, which means you need to get to work on your studies. With Granger now in White, You are going to be very busy. Maybe even too busy for Chess." He turned, and with everyone dressed in White on his heels, Exited the tower.

121

Saemus came down the stairs to see if Potter was still there. Seeing just Ron sitting in front of the fireplace, he turned and yelled up the stairs, "All clear!"

The Common room was flooded with students, as they swarmed the Captain of the House Team. Ron, paler than what is healthy for a ginger, stood, and tottered up to his room, to hide in his bed. Maybe things would be better in the Morning.

Angela called the House to order, "Okay everybody." she called out once the noise had dropped down, "Weasley needs to get his head on straight. We just lost three of our Alpha-team. That means that Beta-team now has holes that need to be filled. If you want to try out for those positions, be on the pitch at eight am saturday."

"Who made you acting Captain?" McLaggen demanded from the back of the room.

"Potter and Weasley." Spinnet smirked at the fifth year, "With Potter gone, and Weasley fighting to clear his head, I am the most senior member of this team. I was approached by McGonagall for the spot, but offered it to Potter as he was the one to bring back the Season. Potter told Weasley to refill those gaps, and as he is unable to declare time and date of the tryouts, I will." her smile turned into a glare, "If you even try to take Captaincy, I will have McGonagall remove you from the team. Permanently!"

Dean spoke up, "We might have lost Potter, Jordan, and the Twins. But before they left, Seamus and I were given a chest. Tonight we toast to our lost Riders," a mild cheer rose, "We toast our New Riders with their Sweet Rides!" the cheer this time was louder, "and we will toast to our coming Victory!" the cheer was almost deafening. "But most importantly, We Toast to Potter, and the Institute! Tonight we get PISSED!" the cheer shook the rafters.

The 'Chest' turned out to be a massive trunk filled with Butterbeer, chilled just right, and two bottles of Ogdens, earmarked for the seventh years. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and no one in scarlet was seen the next day, other than Ron, as he stuffed his face at the Gryffindor table.

121

In the Teacher's Lounge, the Heads minus Snape and Dumbledor, sat around the table with Madam Hooch, cooing over the new School Brooms. Lord Potter had bought 80 cleansweep 260s. While they were not the top of the line, they were a decent base broom for training the First years, and as Lord Potter had bought in bulk, they were a better buy.

Flitwick was bouncing in his chair, as Sprout chuckled.

"So, even after he leaves your House, He moves to keep the Cup in your office." Hooch, stroked one of the Brooms on the table, "But not before buying the school a whole School of 260s, and demanding that I use them, instead of the relics that the Headmaster says are 'serviceable'."

"He Leaves Hogwarts, as WE already had a Champion, and the Rules state one Champion per School, and even if he is bound to participate, He will not bring disHonor to our Door." Pomona smiled at her Friend Minneriva, "Your cub is showing traits of all Four Houses."

"Cunning of the greatest of Slytherien, Honor and Bravery of the Legends of Gryffindor, a deep Wisdom of Ravenclaw, and a Loyalty only seen in Pomona's Burrow, when the rest of the School is too busy to notice." Chirped Filius, as he stood on his chair, "How you beat us to Him, I will never understand."

"**When He sat under me, only two Houses were fully in contention."** the Sorting hat spoke from a shelf over looking the Lounge. "**Slytherin and Gryffindor. While he had the traits for either of the other Houses, he had been beaten down by his Muggle Relations."** the hat twitched, "**I am pushing my limits on saying this, but Potter was not well treated as a child. His inquisitive mind was hobbled as was his 'Loyalty to Others'. His Cunning and Bravery warred with one another, and his Request of 'Not Slytherin' ended him in the House of the Foolhardy."** the brim mimicked a frown, "**That and his parents were Lions. The Headmaster had tried to push my Decision, but the Choice was already in the Boy's head."**

McGonagall just nodded. "And he takes the Twins and Jordan with him, so I can sign them out, and not have to pull out my greying hair when they act up." She grinned evilly, "They are now Headmaster Black's responsibility. I am sorry he took Granger, but she is the only one to keep those '**Boys'** inline. The Headmaster included."

The Teachers that had Black as a student chuckled, before calling it a night.

121

In the Headmaster's Office, Albus was grumbling to himself, as His plans for the Potter brat unraveled all over the place. First the Brat shows a spark of independence, Taking up Black's Cause. Than he shows a spark of intelligence and cunning, as he revealed during the Welcoming feast, in leveraging Malfoy to return the Quiditch season for the school. Now he has broken away from Hogwarts completely, and Wedged Black into the spotlight, where the Ministry could not touch him.

Then his thoughts turned to dinner, and what was revealed there; "_*****__Yes, Cissy was the only __**Daughter**__." Harry reached out and patted Draco on the shoulder, "But before he passed, Lord Arcturus named His Eldest Grand__**Son **__his Heir. While Orion had disowned the lad, publicly, Lord Black had quietly named him Heir, and wrote the Wills to prove it. He Allowed Lord Malfoy to proxy for him as he could not abide the collective stupidity of the Ministry. His words. Now, while Sirius never took up the Ring, he was Heir and then Lord Black as the Ministry never gave him a trial. When He was named my Godfather, he had named me Heir to 'all that he owned'. With the death of Lord Arcturus in '91, Sirius became Lord, unclaimed. When the Bastardly Mutt decided to dodge the duties of the Head Of House, by passing it onto His heir." Harry paused as he watched Draco's eyes as he followed the trail laid before him._

So Harry was now of Age, and was holding two Lordships, and now Witches of Two Houses were moving to lock in their claim on Potter. Once the witches wrote home, and their Heads came involved. First Greengrass and then Bones… there was trouble on that front. Albus _**Needed**_ to get Potter back under his 'Control'.

He turned to his Pensive, to review the Last Week.

121

In the Snake Den, Girls Dorm.

The Greengrass sisters, Tracy Davis, Pansy Parkinson and her 'Goon', Millicent Bulstrode, were gathering to discuss the Shifting power tides in the School.

"So let me get this straight," Pansy frowned, "Potter is now Lord of _**Both**_ Potter _and_ Black? Because Headmaster Black never had a trial thirteen years ago, and when Potter came of Age, due to his Name being pulled from the Goblet, the Son of a Bitch, dodged to the title, leaving his heir to take the Ring. You are Contracted to Lord Potter, both by Heiress to Potter, and Black by Name, from Lord Malfoy, trying to get you over a barrel for Draco."

"Basically." Daphne nodded. "I either pass the title to Tori, here, or buy a skip."

Tracy snorted, "Not only is Headmaster Black, an Arse, dodging his responsibilities, but claims not only was his Mother a true Bitch and Hag…" she giggled, "but is a Dog too. Like McGonagall is a cat."

The three witches' who did not meet with Black lost control of their faces. "Calls his mum a Bitch and a Hag?" the mass of Muscle known as Milli, muttered.

"Can he teach us?" Tori bounced in her seat.

"Wait." Pansy muttered to herself for a minute. "Potter holds Black, this means almost everything Malfoy boasted these last three years is now…" her eyes lock with Daphne's, "Full of shit!"

"What is worse, Potter said something at Dinner, that has been nagging at my brain. 'We are going with the Older Daughter of Black.' Tori pouted, "But aren't there only two sisters? Narcissa who married Malfoy and her younger sister, who was a follower of You-Know-Who?"

Pansy frowed, "No. There were three of them, and they ruled these Dorms, if not the whole school. My mom ran with them. The Eldest married a muggleborn, just after taking her NEWTs. Her Father had to disown her."

"And Potter returns her to the Fold." Daphne nodded, "His Mother was a muggleborn, as is his best friend." She smirked. "I received two contracts today, as I told you. I am contracted to Potter, as the Heiress, as a wife. I can buy a Skip, or pass the Title to Tori. There is a Line Continuation clause." she passed a scroll to Tori. "But Black, no, Lord Malfoy named me personally, and I am only a concubine." She passed a second scroll to Pansy. "Looks like Malfoy was trying to get his hands on my House, without tying himself to Greengrass."

"That sounds like something Luci would try." Tracy snorted as read the scroll over Astoria's shoulder. "My question is how he got your Father to sign."

"I think Father was in dire need, and knew that Malfoy was not Lord Black, nor the rightful Lord's rep." Daphne pulled her lap desk close, as she selected an Owl quill from her own owl. Dipping it in the inkwell on her lap desk, she penned out a letter to her Father. "Headmaster Black is taking Tracy and I. Malfoy is going to try something stupid, if only to save Face. I would ask Tori to join us, but I feel that as a second year, it would be better and safer if she went home. Black, from Mother's stories, is an overgrown child sorted into Gryffindor, and will only have Granger and Lupin keeping him in line, while the Weasley Twins and Potter are learning from them. Tracy and I can join Lovegood and Granger in learning from a book in whatever subjects we desire. Now, Tori could learn by the same method, but I think Mother would prefer to teach her. But I need her out of these Dorms. Pansy has the Brains and clout to hold her own, and Milli can bitch-slap any wizard who tries anything, but Tori would be a target for the collective stupidity that is the Pureblood Faction in our House."

"Ahmen." Milli grunted.

"So, I get to Run the 'Snake Pit', unopposed ?" Pansy scrunched up her nose.

"The Carrow twins…" Daphne reread her letter, "But yeah."

"You get Potter, both ways, and I am to share the 'Pit' with the Twins and Milli?

"Unless you can talk your Father and Black into you joining PISSOFF," Tracy snorted as she said the name, "But then you are leaving the 'Pit' to the twins… and Malfoy."

121

Bones sat on her bed, twirling the scroll from the Goblins, in her hands.

"Okay. spill." Hannah grumped from her bed across the room.

"Potter."

"The prissy pretty boy?" Abbot sat up.

"No, Not Malfoy." Susan tossed the scroll at Hannah. "It seems that my advances were not rebuffed by Potter but by a guard dog. A guard dog, he knew nothing about."

"You gonna believe that shite?" The Honey-blonde read the scroll.

"On behalf of House Bones, I must." the busty redhead stood to pull off her robes, "Which is why my besty is gonna be at my side, when I meet with him." Standing in her lacy panties and half bra.

"Oh, why would she do that?" the blushing blond badgered back, as she too slipped out of her robes.

"Who better to watch my back, then the slut grabbing my ass?" Sue sneered at her roommate, just before she pounced, driving both girls, giggling, onto the bed

121

She grunted as she awoke… right back where she started.

"Good evening, Deloris." a rumbling voice addressed her from the cell's doorway. Turning her blurry eyes to the speaker, she saw the Head Auror sitting in a wooden chair, reading a Prophet, a teapot and cup hovering at his elbow. "Be a dear, won't you, and tell us who let you out this morning."

"Do your job, Rufus, and get me out of here!" Deloris Demanded, completely ignoring the Auror's question "I have Ministry Work to do."

"What work?" the paper was folded, and tucked under his arm, "Between what went down at Hogwarts, and in the Alley, Fudge has fired you, with prejudgediss I might add, and is washing his hands of everything."

"Fudge would never…" the sweet toned voice carried a hint of whine.

Rufus looked at her, before grinning as he unfolded the newspaper to show her the front page.

**LORD POTTER-BLACK ATTACKED BY MINISTRY SPOKESWITCH**

**FUDGE FACES INQUIRY , PLEADS INNOCENCE**

'**IT WAS ALL UMBRIDGE!'**

"NO!" the frog faced fanatic flailed at the bars of her cell. "I am just doing my Damn Job!"

121

An*; Albus is 'reading between the Lines', hearing more than is said, seeing more than is shown, ect.

Slytherien has apartments 'under the lake' as befitting minor Lords and Ladies in training/waiting.

Hufflepuff has dual bed studios just off the Kitchen…

As you are exploring this world with me, ask if there is something you want me to examine more in depth.


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